W. C. Fields

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

Contributed by Richurd