Boomerang Vampire-Pumpkin Split Standup

Vampire Pumpkin: So I SAID, ELLA, IS TIME FOR YOU TO KNOW THE TRUTH: I’M SPLIT TOO.

Vampire Pumpkin: SHE WENT, “PUMPKIN WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?”

Vampire Pumpkin: I SAID, YES, I’M A VAMPIRE PUMPKIN. I DON’T READ MINDS; I TELL THEM WHAT TO DO.

Vampire Pumpkin: SHE WAS PETRIFIED … THAT’S WHY, ELLA, YOU CAN’T CHOOSE BETWEEN ADAM AND LEO: YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME, BITCH (IN ENGLISH, BEEPED).

Vampire Pumpkin: I NEVER ADD FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK, ONLY ENEMIES … LIKE BRANDON, THE EDITOR.

Vampire Pumpkin: YOU CAN’T SEE ME ON SPLIT BECAUSE I’M IN THE 268 DELETED SCENES.

Vampire Pumpkin: BRANDON HATES ME. HE SAID “I WILL MASH YOU INTO PUREE.”