The Voice Over Practice Script Library

Still dialing zero to call people collect? Stop! It's expensive. Instead, dial 1-800-COLLECT. Dialing 1-800-COLLECT instead of zero, saves the people you call up to 44%. Just dial 1-800-COLLECT, follow the simple instructions, and your call will go through in seconds. Calling home? Save yourself money! 1-800-COLLECT. Dial it today.

Vibrant colors leap off the screen in vivid rich detail, premium CD quality sound fills the air, over 200 channels of entertainment at your fingertips. Digital cable, it's the best choice in entertainment anywhere. Call 1-800-OK Cable now for a $9.95 connection. And only digital cable offers brand new features like movies on demand, order in an instant, rewind, pause and fast forward, with no extra equipment to buy and no contract.

1-877-KIDS NOW
Today, parents have a lot of hard choices, pay the phone bill or pay the doctor. Fill the fridge or fill a prescription. But there’s a choice that can make life easier---calling 1-877-KIDS NOW. That’s because every state now offers low cost and free health coverage for kids. Even working families can get the card for Dr. visits, prescriptions and more. So if your kids aren’t insured, call 1-877-KIDS NOW. Write it down—because you’ve got enough to worry about.

Design the perfect diamond engagement ring in just minutes. You'll have the rest of your life to design the perfect husband. Visit "a diamond is forever.com"

In a world of new, higher tax brackets, your investment broker can be a valuable source for investment ideas that can help you reduce taxes. It's all part of the complete service AG Edwards is committed to offering you. Not only this year, but every year. The time to start next year's tax planning is now. And your AG Edwards investment broker can help you with an understanding of your particular needs. Why not take advantage of that expertise by calling today?

Want to have a great retirement? AARP can show you how. Meet new people, learn new things, explore new places and more. Join us in championing your future and the future of every generation!

Join us online at About.com where hundreds of experienced guides provide the resources you need to explore your passions. Arrange a country escape with Elizabeth Arneson, your guide to bed & breakfasts, or customize a 30-minute fat burning program with exercise Guide, Paige Cohen. Whatever your passion, About.com has what you need to know.

I was going crazy trying to plan our financial future. It got so bad, even my calculator was threatening to quit. [Henry's Investment Advisors] took my whole financial snapshot: net worth, investing timeline, financial goals, and created a portfolio tailored to my life and needs. Now I'm resting easy. And I sent my calculator on a cruise to Aruba.

This year... One out of 3 people over 65 will fall. Now, you can have peace of mind with ADT companion services. Just one touch of a button puts you in contact with an ADT trained professional who can call an ambulance and help with any medical emergency. Protect your independence. Call now for free information about ADT companion services. ADT. Always there.

Introducing ADVENTURE. The daring new magazine from National Geographic. For experience from the serene to the extreme. If you seek out the unconventional way to go, National Geographic ADVENTURE is for you. It's your complete guide to adventure, with everything from weekend wilderness destinations near you to in-depth accounts of modern exploration and survival. Act now to become a charter subscriber. Only $9.97 for 6 issues. Call now: 1-800-NGS-LINE.

No matter where we live--when it comes to something as important as health care--we all want the best. That's why AETNA and US HEALTHCARE have joined forces to create a partnership that will set a new standard for quality and caring. AETNA and US HEALTHCARE. Raising a standard for your town, for your family, and for you.

Man has always dreamed of getting to the other side. Some make it, some don't. But at least your phone calls get there. Because Agilent provides technologies for almost every kind of communications network. From way down here to way up here.

Man has always dreamed of getting to the other side. Some make it, some don't. But at least your phone calls get there. Because Agilent provides technologies for almost every kind of communications network. From way down here to way up here.

The Greatest Risk Is Not Taking One. They gave up everything. Their families. Their friends. Their homes. The villages they were born in. They arrived with only the clothes on their backs. Vulnerable. Scared. But brimming with hope and determined that a better life was within their grasp. Today, risk takers don't have to go after their dreams alone. They can rely on a business partner to help them through uncharted waters. An organization with unsurpassed insight and financial resources. One with the ability and flexibility to design specific solutions to help minimize risk for almost any business undertaking. So the next time you decide to venture into new territory for an idea you believe in, call AIG. We're best equipped to help you manage the uncertainties that go along with the pursuit of hopes and dreams.

What does it take to break through a foundation of thinking that's been accepted for years? A bold stroke. But it doesn't mean turning things on their heads without understanding all the possible consequences. It takes a complete understanding of what lies on the other side.

Throughout the world, Alcatel is helping to provide advanced communication system solutions. We believe in working in close partnership with our customers to provide these solutions. Solutions which bring people together throughout the world. Our success not only makes us number one worldwide, but more importantly, confirms our commitment to total customer satisfaction. Alcatel. Your reliable partner in communications systems.

Wherever you are. Whatever you do. A company of the Allianz Group is always on your side. To us, risk management means thinking the unthinkable to prevent risk turning into loss. As one of the world's leading global insurers our financial strength and technical expertise combine to make Allianz Group the partner you can trust whenever and wherever you need us. Allianz, The Power On Your Side.

Some insurance companies seem to think that 15 minutes is all it takes. But not Allstate. We'll take as long as you want to help you make sure your insurance coverage is right. You deserve more than just 15 minutes of fame. Are you in Good Hands?

Go ahead... Make a wish... Now call your Allstate agent. Because today, planning makes wishes come true. And your Allstate agent can help make sure that “family security”, “college funding”, and even a “healthy retirement” are in the stars for you. Your Allstate agent wants to be your agent for life. You're in good hands with Allstate Life Insurance.

You never know for sure, but there’s this guy in the office that swears that HIS car insurance is the best, and tells everyone what a hot negotiator he is. So you ask him. “Did you get a discount for air bags, or anti-lock brakes? What about a discount for multiple cars?” Now he’s speechless. “Oh…one last thing. You want the name of my insurance company?” To help make sure you’re getting the auto insurance discount you deserve, talk to an Allstate insurance agent in your neighborhood. You’re in good hands with Allstate.

When someone abducts a child, they’re not about to advertise it. But we will. Sign up at wireless Amber alert.org to get free Amber Alert text messages on your cell phone. Wireless amber alerts. A child is calling for help.

The intensity of our concentration cannot be overstated. At American Century, we're focused on one thing: managing investments. Any way you work with us, you benefit from our active approach to investment management. Which means you can be assured that we are always striving to maximize your returns. Whether you're a large institution in need of separate accounts, an advisor looking for multiclass pricing or an individual investor wanting mutual funds. Which brings us to what we don't do: We don't stray from our mission by lending money or underwriting securities. To learn more, please ask you financial advisor or call 1 877 44 AMCEN. Because your performance has our complete and undivided attention.

Are you last to know that you went on a shopping spree? Or are you alerted when a suspicious charge appears? Are you afraid it might look better online than it does on you? Or are you able to return it, even if the site says you can’t? Are you in pieces because your new purchase is? Or are you secure that your purchases are protected? Are you spending more time worrying than shopping? Or are you a cardmember? American Express.

Presenting Blue from American Express. The card with no annual fee and an introductory rate that's frozen at zero percent. Call 1-800-600-Blue to get yours. Blue from American Express.

Blue from American Express. Get no annual fee. Low interest rates and a free rewards program. Choose the Blue option and pay now or pay over time. You choose the frequency. Blue from American Express.

This store isn’t having a fire sale. It’s not a year-end clearance. And they haven’t lost their lease. It’s the kick-off of Buyer’s Assurance from American Express. Now, until the end of the year, we’ll double the repair period of the manufacturer’s warranty. Double it up to an extra year. It’s as simple as using the AMERICAN EXPRESS card. Now, why would you shop with anything else?

Ever skied the Alps? Hiked the Andes? American Express Membership Rewards gives you free travel to almost anywhere. Or choose free jewelry, clothing, even golf clubs. And since Rewards points never expire, you can choose to take your time choosing. American Express. Do more.

Do you know me? Probably not. In my business, recognition is always important, but when I'm buying goods online I prefer a little privacy. With Private Payments from American Express, I get the security of a unique number created for each business transaction I make. Because my private information is my business.

How do you know you’re getting the right financial advice? At American Express, we measure the quality of financial advice we provide our clients, and we work hard to ensure that the financial plan we prepare meets your approval. We deliver clear recommendations that can be acted upon and regular reviews that show progress toward your goals.

For many, retirement is a wonderful time of life. A chance to relax and pursue a hobby, spend more time with family, or travel the world. Whether you're already retired, or about to be, you can still take steps to make your retirement more secure. With 100 years of financial experience behind us, American Express can answer your questions and help make your retirement what it should be—a time when you’ve achieved financial freedom. To get started, we invite you to request a complimentary initial consultation with a financial advisor in your community.

Unlike most cards, the American Express Rewards Card isn’t about limits, it’s about remarkable flexibility, unprecedented rewards and exclusive services.

It was the perfect vacation getaway. Until he got away with your wallet. Introducing the Travelfunds card from American Express. A new safe way to carry money. It's a prepaid, reloadable card that's safer than cash and isn't linked to your bank account. If it's lost or stolen, your balance is refunded, usually within 24 hours. Make sure your next vacation is really yours. Call 1-888-412-6945 or visit www.americanexpress.com/travelfundscard.

Presenting Blue - Blue American Express - the card with no annual fee and an introductory rate exploding at 0% and fixed as low as 7.99%. Call1-800-600-BLUE to get yours. You can pay over time, which makes this card remarkably flexible. It has a free rewards program with so many choices it'll make your head spin. Plus, it has a built in smart-chip that remembers your passwords and gives you extra security online. But, while there are many reasons to carry BLUE, there is only one number to call to get it 1-800-600BLUE call now to apply for yours, BLUE from American Express.

We're helping put instruments put back in the hands of kids. Why? Studies indicate kids who learn music- excel in reading, science and math. But budget cut cuts are eliminating music programs. So join Blue from American Express to help put music back in our schools.

Could there be a new IRA in your future? Perhaps you’ve heard about the new Roth IRA. It sounds interesting, but you wonder -- what’s in it for you? An American Express financial advisor can show you how the Roth IRA expands eligibility to almost everyone. It also offers tax-free withdrawals and the ability to save for financial goals other than retirement -- like education and the purchase of a first home. Get the expertise and insight you need to make smarter decisions. So you can take control of your future. Call 1-800-GET-ADVICE and own your world.

Life’s full of compromises. You give up high performance for high capacity. You pass on your favorite foods to fit into your favorite jeans. And with credit cards, find one with a low interest rate and you could give up important services. But now there’s a credit card with no compromises. The low rate OPTIMA card from American Express. Call now. 1-800-4-OPTIMA. Get the savings and the service with no compromises. And no annual fee.

Something so precious is worth protecting. I wish I could keep a baby forever, but I’ll settle for keeping him still and protected. Because he’s already got big plans, and that plastic car seat won’t just keep him safe, it will give his dreams a chance to come true. How have plastics touched your life? The American Plastics Council. Plastics make it possible!

Ever heard of a crash diet in packaging? Well, plastic soft drink bottles have been slimming down for years. Take today’s popular two liter bottles. They’re 27% lighter than they were in 1990, but still as strong and shatter resistant as ever. And, these leaner plastic bottles reduce the need for millions of pounds of packaging, helping to conserve precious natural resources. To learn more about the benefits of packaging and our environment, contact the American Plastics Council at 1-800-2-HELP-90.

Ameritech. Your link to better communications. Service not available in all areas. Normal usage charges and limitations apply. To subscribe on a monthly basis or to block the service from your line call 1-800-643-3785.

For many folks, “the country” isn’t a place, it’s a state of mind. It’s watching a glorious sunrise from their breakfast table. It’s spending a lazy afternoon in the company of golden light. To them, it’s the experience of living with Andersen Light. To learn more about Andersen Light, see your Andersen Window Expert, or call 1-800-426-4261.

Ok, that meeting is at 11 - and at 10:00, I’m sitting here with a jammed printer, a crashed computer, a fried network connection and I’m pulling my hair out - which is NOT good, ‘cause I don’t have much hair to begin with! Then it dawns on me - I’ve got that new Ultimate Troubleshooter package from AnswersThatWork.com - all I’ve got to do is fire that baby up and… oh, yeah. Life is good.

Now you can get high speed internet access at great savings when you connect to AOL's ITS ALL HERE package. Plus you'll get 250 channels free for joining the AOL community today. Call 1.800.OKCABLE today and we'll throw in three months of free HBO or Showtime. AOL, we are always on, are you?

AOL 9.0 Optimized with computer check-up can make fixing your computer, well, child's play. To learn more, visit AOL keyword 'computer check-up', or call 1-800-4-ONLINE.

You know your kid is online. But do you have any idea what on earth that young man could be up to? Add AOL for Broadband with Guardian and Web Unlock to put you more in charge of what your kids see and do online. So, high-speed parents . . . meet AOL for Broadband.

You know your kid is online. But do you have any idea what on earth that young man could be up to? Add AOL for Broadband with Guardian and Web Unlock to put you more in charge of what your kids see and do online. So, high-speed parents . . . meet AOL for Broadband.

America Online is proud to support Sesame Street. No two kids are alike but what they all share is endless curiosity. AOL helps kids find new things to be curious about every day. America Online. Never stop learning.

Wearing out your welcome? Keep your friends, and search for your own place at apartmentguide.com. You’ll see more listings with more photos and more floor plans than anyplace on the net. You’ve read the book, now get the big picture. Apartmentguide.com… find your place.

At Apple, we design our computers specifically for the needs of education. We design them to be powerful enough to prepare high school students for the technology they’ll encounter in the future. Yet we also design them to be easy enough for a first grader to use. We design our computers to run all of the Macintosh programs schools are already using; and we design them to run a whole new family of enhanced software that makes graphics, video and animation even more life-like and exciting.

At Apple, we design our computers specifically for the needs of education. We design them to be powerful enough to prepare high school students for the technology they’ll encounter in the future. Yet we also design them to be easy enough for a first grader to use. We design our computers to run all of the Macintosh programs schools are already using; and we design them to run a whole new family of enhanced software that makes graphics, video and animation even more life-like and exciting.

This script is from one of my favorite TV commercials of all time. It was part of Apple's "Think Different" campaign which started in 1997. The voice is Richard Dreyfuss.

Here is a Link to the full :60 commercial as it ran back then.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oAB83Z1ydE

Enjoy!

- Ron Jaffe (Muddyshoes)

------------

Script:

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

You recruit. You hire. You train. And then…they leave. Now, there’s a better system for finding and retaining employees. Applicant Profile.com

Make Your Checking Free and Easy! At Astoria Federal Savings, we know that banking should be simple and uncomplicated. That's why we're offering Free and Easy Checking. With Free and Easy Checking you can write all the checks you want without any monthly service charges or minimum balances to worry about. And it's so easy to open, simply write us a check and we'll take care of the rest. With convenient branches located throughout Brooklyn, Queens, Nassau, Suffolk, and Westchester, there's a branch right around the corner from you. You can also bank with us over the phone or at any of our ATMs. Make your checking and your life Free and Easy! Simply stop in any of our branches, call us at 1-800-ASTORIA, or click on "Contact Us" to send us an e-mail. Banking with Astoria Federal... It's gonna be Free and Easy!

With the NEW AT&T Unlimited Country International Call Plan, there's never been an easier and more affordable way to call international. Unlimited international phone calls to the country you call most 24 Hours A Day/7 Days A Week. Just $49.95 a month.

Ever notice AND is a surefire way to keep a conversation going? Which brings us to AND by AT&T. You get unlimited local AND unlimited long distance from home, so you can talk on AND on. That's nights, weekends, AND everything in between. Call 1800 ATT 4ALL to sign up. AND brings it all together, from AT-AND-T.

Confused about choosing cable or a dish? Don't be. ATT Broadband gives you more. Go with Cable and get up to 230 channels on 2 TVs for only $39.99/month. Plus get free Cinemax, The Movie Channel and free professional installation on any Cable TV Package. Call 1-800-CABLE-ME today.

Long distance service you thought couldn’t get any better is about to, with a breakthrough from AT&T. And in the coming months, it’s going to make AT&T’s sound quality dramatically superior to any other long distance company.

It’s so nice and simple. Now you can get 20% off your AT&T long distance calls -- to anyone, anywhere in the USA, anytime -- guaranteed. Just call us, and then whenever you spend $25 a month on qualifying AT&T long distance calls, we’ll subtract 20% off your AT&T bill. See, it’s nice and simple. So, whenever you want to call anyone, anywhere in the country, you can … anytime. Call now to sign up for AT&T True USA Savings.

I try to talk to one of my grandkids every day. It can get to be expensive for someone on a fixed income. A friend of mine at church told me about the AT&T unlimited plan. For $19.95 a month, you can talk to anyone who has AT&T long distance at their home. You can talk as long as you want - When you want. Keeps me in touch with my grandchildren. It's all about sharing. All grandmas should get on board.

What does seven cents get you in the modern world? Well for one thing, it’ll get you wireless service. Wireless service from AT&T. Now when you sign up for most plans from AT&T Wireless services, it’s only seven cents for your first monthly service charge, seven cents for activation. Plus if you sign up now in a qualified plan and purchase a Nokia 5160, you’ll get a thirty-dollar mail-in rebate. Call 1-800-IMAGINE for full details.

A different time zone. A different language. A different culture. At least your wireless number is the same. With AT&T WorldConnect service, you can take your wireless number to over 100 countries. Plus get low international long distance rates on calls you make from abroad or any domestic AT&T Wireless market. With one simple bill, it’s a great way to stay on top of your business. Whether it’s in a different time zone or a different hemisphere. To find out more, contact your local sales representative or visit a participating store near you.

Today, Pittsburgh is a model city … a tribute to man’s ability to reverse the damage done by his carelessness and excess. On this, the twentieth anniversary of Earth Day, the message of Pittsburgh is clear, as the people of AT&T join 100 million others around the world to contemplate the delicate balance between man and his environment. Scientists at AT&T are continuing to develop safe technologies that eliminate environmental hazards at the source, so that someday very soon, we can all wake up in a better place. AT&T…working with Earth.

There’s something very different on the horizon. It’s a special way to make your life easier. When you use it, you’ll wonder how you ever did without it. Announcing Automated Long Distance Memory from AT&T. Just dial AT&T at any time for information on this breakthrough in long distance service. AT&T, the innovators in LONG DISTANCE SERVICE, have done it again. Switch to AT&T, and receive up to four free hours of long distance calling time.

During your AT&T Phone Center Holiday Wish List Sweepstakes, make a wish! You could wish your way into $25,000 or a 2000 Jeep Cherokee Limited -- a $25,000 Cartier Jewelers’ gift certificate -- a 20-foot Sea Ray Bow Rider -- or a trip for two to Hawaii’s Hyatt Waikoloa Resort. To enter the wish list sweepstakes, just come to your AT&T Phone Center now during our big holiday sale. So go ahead. Make a wish. You might just get it.

They call me up. Hey, good news! You can save 35% off AT&T. So I switched. Call my sister. It takes longer getting through. But I’m saving, right? Wrong! Then the bill comes -- 35% off? They forgot to mention it’s only on those quick little calls of over 900 something miles away. So, I call them up. Bad news. I’m switching back to AT&T.

Some companies offer the world when it comes to saving on international calls. But, these savings come with limits. One company won’t give you their best rates unless you give them phone numbers. Another advertises cash back, but you have to wait a year. Who needs limits? With AT&T TRUE REACH International Savings, you save on all types of calls to anyone, anytime, anywhere in the U.S. and around the world.

In the near future, your correspondence from postcards to memos will be immediate. Transmitted instantly from the screen of your personal communicator to someone else’s. Or to their e-mail or fax. No paper. No pen. No postage. Notes from thin air. The company that will bring it to you is AT&T.

You can leave for work at the same time, but get to your desk earlier. With mMode only from AT&T Wireless, you can read your e-mail from the sidewalk and check your calendar from the bus. And you can do it all on the screen of your phone. You'll be the first to reply, not the last to know. So when plans change, you can make new ones. Call 1-866-REACH OUT, go to attwireless.com/mMode, or visit any AT&T Wireless Store for more information.

Thanks to One Rate, this isn’t just any phone. It’s my “Bob, how’s the power in Utah?’ phone, my “..red..no make that teal” phone, my “How’re you doing in college?’ phone. My “Can you deliver the piano on …Tuesday” phone. The world of wireless has changed. AT&T Digital One Rate.

At AT&T Wireless, we've made great improvements to our GSM network that are hard to miss. Like double the coverage, and improved signal strength, even in buildings. Introducing GSM America from AT&T Wireless. To experience our best network ever, stop by a store today. How many bars do you have?

On your way home, pick up a new Blackberry. It lets you send and receive work and personal emails, talk on the phone, check addresses and your calendar, all with security features that allow for safe transactions. And, because it runs on the AT&T Wireless network, you can use it just about anywhere you go. To find the nearest AT&T Wireless Store and take advantage of our $50 rebate, call 1-877-400-1080 or visit attwireless.com/blackberry. Requires new activation on a qualified plan, credit approval, a $36 activation fee, one-year, two-year or qualified corporate agreement, and a Blackberry 5810. Not available for purchase or use in all areas. Rebate available through January 4, 2003.

Some companies offer the world when it comes to savings on international calls; but these savings come with limits. One company won’t give you the best rates unless you give them phone numbers. Another advertises cash back, but you have to wait a year. Who needs limits! With AT&T TRUE REACH International Savings, you save on all types of calls to anyone, anytime, anywhere in the U.S. and around the world.

Check out the bright ideas in automotive lighting at Autozone. Whether you want lights to help you see better, or make your car look better. You’ll find them at Autozone. Get in the zone. Autozone.

Your future. Your way. AXA Financial Planning.

This year, step into a whole new you, with Bally's new Rapid Results membership. Call 1-800-Fitness and transform yourself, for no money to start. Plus get last year's rate. Bally's new Rapid Results membership can be your total fitness solution.

THIS IS AMERICA.

WE PROTECT WHAT WE HOLD DEAR.
AND EVERYDAY…..BANK OF AMERICA IS HERE FOR YOU.
WE’RE 200,000 ASSOCIATES, 6,100 BANKING CENTERS, AND HUNDREDS OF PRODUCTS AND SERVICES TO HELP PROTECT WHAT YOU HAVE.
AND LITTLE OPPORTUNITIES FOR THE FUTURE.
NO WONDER FAMILIES IN AMERICA TRUST MORE OF THEIR HARD EARNED MONEY WITH US THAN ANY OTHER BANK.
BANK OF AMERICA.
BANK OF OPPORTUNITY.

Bank One's personal platinum. Choose your rate, your reward, your due date, even your color. Find the card that fits you best at www.BankOne.com or call 1-800-U-CHOOSE.

Hundreds of leading names. One you. Find the card that fits you best at www.BankOne.com or call 1-800-U-CHOOSE.

When he said I had cancer, I couldn't believe he was talking to me. But then he said it was good I came in when I did, and that there were very effective treatments now . . . and from that moment on, Banner Hospital was at my side helping me fight this disease every step of the way. My cancer is in remission now and even though they can't give me any promises, the people at Banner Hospital gave me something even more valuable. They gave me hope

At BASF, we don’t make the cooler, we make it cooler. We don’t make the jeans, we make them bluer. We don’t make the toys, we make them tougher. At BASF, we don’t make a lot of the products you buy. We make a lot of the products you buy better. BASF.

We don’t make colors, we make them brighter. We don’t make racquets, we make them stronger. And we don’t make engines, we make them faster. At BASF, we don’t make a lot of the products you buy … we make a lot of the products you buy better.

Bed Bath and Beyond now has 20% off any one of their hundreds of thousands of items. Check your mail for the coupon. Or visit www dot bed bath and beyond dot com to sign up for exclusive email offers and promotions. Bed Bath and Beyond. Beyond any store of it’s kind.

Bell Atlantic is trying very hard to convince you that if you dial 10 NJB first, everytime you call NY from northern New Jersey, you’ll save over ATT. In theory it kind of makes sense. You dial those extra numbers you should be rewarded, but it just doesn’t add up. The facts are, if you use ATT for those same calls, are enrolled in the ATT True Reach Savings program and send just 25 dollars a month in qualifying calls you will save over Bell Atlantic’s basic rates every time you call New York and all you do is dial direct.

Falling stock prices. Negative press. Shaky public opinion. Ugh! It sounds like our kind of investment. Another for Berger’s small cap value fund. We are looking for companies that are sleeping or only temporarily out of favor. The result? A history of solid performance that has kept our investors smiling for nearly ten years. For more information call 1-800-942-9462.

If you need to escape the daily grind, come to Best Buy. You’ll find tons of games and you can play all you want. Which beats working through lunch. Best Buy. Turn on the fun.

Announcer: Binder and Binder is America's most successful Social Security Disability Advocates.
Lawyer Testimonial "We'll deal with the Government, you have enought to worry about."
Announcer: So if you are disabled, call 1-800-66-BINDER.

Let the stars shine this holiday season and all year long. Give Biography and save! Get one year for just $18. That’s almost half off the cover price! And Biography has something for almost everyone. Each issue is jam packed with revealing profiles of the famous, the infamous, newsmakers, historical figures, and ordinary people who’ve done extraordinary things. So give the gift that will entertain, engage, inform, and inspire month after month. Call 1-800-666-9264 to order today. Biography. Every life has a story.

Find your inspiration. Biography Magazine. In the April issue, Sandra Bullock. Plus, Ernest Shakleton's Antarctica. Anne Heche. Kathleen Turner. And much more. For whoever you are, find your inspiration in Biography Magazine. Every life has a story.

Are you exposing yourself? If your security software depends on a list of known viruses, you're more exposed than you think. Bitdefender’s lightning quick security solutions provide the most advanced 2 layer security- protecting you from known and unknown threats. Download a free trial to see what threats are lurking on your system. BitDefender the future of security now.

Need flowers Fast? Call Blooms Today.

With prices starting at $29.99, an average order time of only 5 minutes and over 30 years of experience, why go anywhere else?

Our friendly agents can take your call 24/7, and rush delivery is available. Ask about our fantastic 50% discount for Phone or Internet orders when you call 1-800-222-1234 or visit wwww.yourbloomstoday.com.

Bobby Bibby bought a bat
Bobby Bibby bought a ball
With his bat Bob banged the ball
Banged it bump against the wall
But so boldy Bobby banged it
That he burst his rubber ball
Boo! cried Bobby, Bad luck, ball!
Bad luck, Bobby, Bad Luck ball.
Now to drown his many troubles
Bobby Bibby's blowing bubbles.
Black Bart was a smart marksman.

Yo, that cell phone bill getting harsh? You gotta get with Boost Mobile. Pay as you go or choose pre-paid minutes. They’ve totally got your back.

I don’t want commitments. Let me pay what I want, when I want. PayGo Basic from Boost mobile has no monthly payments and no activation fees.

Borough of Manhattan Community College. Start Here. Go Anywhere.

Bose home theater systems customize their sound to fit your room. Choosing anything less just doesn't sound right. BOSE... better sound through research.

For years I was over there, you know, the other side! Using oil to heat my home. Nice if you like the smell of oil, and costly burner repairs, and undependable bad weather deliveries. Then I crossed over to the sunny side of the street. Now Brooklyn Union Lifetime Energy gives me a lifetime of gas heat comfort and cleanliness, dependability, and convenience- it’ll do the same for you. What’s more any licensed plumber can do the conversion. You know, last year over 10,000 homes and business owners switched. So what are you waiting for? With Brooklyn Union, it’s a lot brighter here, on the sunny side of the street. Find out how much you’ll save when you switch from oil to price stable gas heat. Call Brooklyn Union at 1-800-B-U-VALUE

Whatever your goals in life, wherever your career takes you, a Bryant College education will provide you with what you need to succeed. So whether your career follows a traditional path, or takes you to places you’ve never dreamed of, make it your business to succeed. Call 1-800-622-7001 for more information on Bryant’s undergraduate, graduate, and professional programs.

Every week, BusinessWeek delivers the information and insight you need to take control of your career, your finances, and your future. From microtechnology to macroeconomics. From global finance to personal investing. From corporate boardrooms to home offices. BusinessWeek’s award-winning coverage goes beyond the headlines and behind the scenes. It delivers what you want to you and what you need to know—week after week. Now that’s the kind of help anyone can use. BusinessWeek. Because what you don’t know can’t help you.

Hey. Want some hot classified information? No newspaper can match the “By-lines” for selling cars. Why? Newspapers sell news. By-lines is strictly automotive advertising. By-lines gives you 20 words for as low as $13 a week. That’s more ad for less money than the other papers! Don’t get us wrong. We love newspapers…for news. To sell your car, it’s got to be in By-Lines. Call today to place your classified ad. 556-123-5574. That’s 556-123-5574.

Just Activate HBO and Cinemax with your annual commitment to any total choice programming package. Offer ends 1/28/05. Hardware programming and DVR service sold separately. New customers only. Restrictions apply.

When you ask yourself what is important in a car, think of the questions you ask every day, then think of the car with all the answers: the Cadillac DeVille, which also offer a financial answer -- a 2000 dollar bonus, direct from Cadillac. The Cadillac DeVille -- changing the way you think about American automobiles.

You should know how important training is to have a successful career -- without it, trying to find a good job is almost impossible. With “Career Tech Schools”, you can train in your own home for a better job. More money, and greater job security. “Career Tech” offers courses ranging from “Business Management” to “Auto Mechanics”, and “Police Science” to “Computer Programming”. For information on how you can train at home for a new and better career, call “Career Tech Schools” at 1-800-545-4000.

You’re marooned on an island of unrewarding work and nightmare commutes. Luckily, help is here. Careerpath.com has the largest, most current database of jobs on the web. Pinpoint your search with criteria such as location, industry or even job category, and you’ll soon be on your way to a job that fits your style. So what are you waiting for? Get to a computer and click Careerpath.com today.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you wake up looking like the picture - on your driver's license. When you accidentally stumble upon your dog’s morning surprise. When you…somehow…get toothpaste in your eye. (ouch!). When your boss takes you aside...and leaves you there. But hey - this could still be your lucky day. Play cash five from the Pennsylvania lottery. Cash five has at least a 100-thousand dollar jackpot.

Here’s what I know. I know how to house train a dog. I know long division. I know deep down that most pro-football players are big sissies. I know life is really like a box of chocolates. I know that the big secret to the Crying Game is that it was a crappy movie. I know what time it is. I know Shakespeare never wrote a play called “I Love To Go Swimming”. Okay, so I know a lot of useless stuff. But one thing I know that is useful, is where to buy a cell phone. And that’s Cellular One. Call 1-800-cell-talk.

People can give you their word in many ways. But when it comes to something as important as selling your home, you want a commitment in writing. That’s why at Century 21, we give you our Seller’s Service Pledge. A written commitment that spells out a specific plan of action and promises the highest level of professional service … the standard by which all others will be judged. CENTURY 21 … it’s as good as done.

Millions of Americans are planning their financial future with the help and advice of Charles Schwab. And together, we can ensure that yours is a success. That’s why we’d like you to listen to this Charles Schwab’s guide to investing. No matter what your experience, this series has valuable insights that can help you invest smarter. If you’re an investor, you owe it to yourself to visit a Schwab office to get your free copy.

Attention Charter Digital Cable customers. Stop! Play! Pause! Rewind, and rejoice. Introducing the cable channel that turns your TV into a video player. Channel 999 is Video on Demand, and it’s available exclusively from Charter Digital Cable. When was the last time you went to the movies, in the comfort of your own home? So now you can. Just tune in to channel 999 on Charter Digital Cable. Imagine having hundreds of movie titles for the whole family at your fingertips, without leaving your home. Guaranteed to be in-stock, with no returns or late fees. You won’t find this on satellite. Video on Demand is exclusively on Charter Digital Cable. Video on Demand Is channel 999, and it’s available now to Charter Digital Cable customers. So Stop, play, pause, rewind, and rejoice. Video on Demand exclusively from Charter Digital Cable.

How much will Edward Brooks' honeymoon cost him? We’ll we can tell you how much it’s worth to him. Edward is willing to work weekends instead of watching football. At Chase we know what your savings are worth to you. That’s why Better Banking from Chase has scheduled savings. It lets Ed save money with out lifting a finger. Money is automatically transferred into his savings account, so he can concentrate on his honeymoon. What does Ed soon to be wife think? She’s just hoping he saved enough vacation time. Chase…The right relationship is everything.

Who sees life the way you see it? That’s what makes us individuals … and the more we can understand you, the more we can help … whether you’re thinking about a home or your future … the more we know our client’s business, the more solutions we bring to the table. For nearly 200 years, Chase has seen everyone as individuals, which makes every experience a more profitable one. CHASE MANHATTAN … profit from the experience.

Chase would like to invite you to experience a more personalized approach to financial services. It's called Chase Manhattan Preferred Client Services. And it's really a very special relationship with a very special team of investment, lending and banking experts. Specialists who work and plan with you. Now, get a taste of exactly what preferred client services are all about. Call 1-800-CHASE-VIP any time of any day, for a complimentary consultation with one of these local specialists. We'll talk about your financial needs. We'll get to know each other. And we hope we can begin a long and prosperous relationship together. Chase Manhattan. Profit from the experience.

The memories of a home that’s been in the family for generations can never be replaced. But a replacement insurance policy from Chubb can restore a unique property, should it ever be damaged. Chubb appraisers carefully note unique architectural details and construction materials, creating a valuable record.

Cingular connects you to the technology with the truest sound in wireless. Just look for the cingular smartchip – proof that we take your voice very seriously. …Truest sound. Another reason cingular fits you best.

You started out with one location and kept adding more sites to keep pace with your growing business. Now you're opening a new kind of store. One that everyone can go to. And business is better than ever. Discover all that's possible on the Internet. Cisco Systems. Empowering the Internet Generation.

Pee-Wee football 2015 pick. My son Jason came into this world kicking. My wife said he’d been kicking long before he was even born. And growing up he kicked everything. Balls in the house. The tires on the truck. His little sister. He just wanted to kick. So we bought the cleats, helmet, shoulder pads, and a whole bunch of jerseys with our Citi card. And then we bought the goalpost. Getting it into the truck was interesting. Whatever your story is, your Citi card can help you write it. Citi- let’s get it done.

Citibank knows what its like when you’re starting out. They’ve issued more than 8 million credit cards to young adults and they don’t require a co-signer.

So I lose my credit card… Luckily it’s a Citibank Photocard with my picture on it. This guy in my building finds it. He recognizes me from the photo, he returns it. Not only is he single, honest and good looking - But get this - He’s attracted to Moi! Citibank - The city never sleeps.

Hmmm. Apparently, Mark doesn’t know about Citibank’s low rates on home equity lines of credit. Like Mark, you’ve probably got more equity in your home than you thought. Why not utilize it?

Live Richly. "Thank you" Introducing Thank you from Citi, a new kind of rewards program. Electronics, books, clothes. Get something great without a gazillion points. Achievable rewards that mean something. Just our way of saying thank-you. Now that's a card you can count on. Call now: 1-888-Citicard. Citicards.com

Welcome to the Clarins Family. It is our objective to provide you with a warm and exciting environment filled with opportunity and growth. This presentation will cover our Employee Benefit Program Highlights, Company Policies, and Personal Policies. Please follow along with the provided employee handbook. Let's get started!

CNN and TIME combines the immediacy and impact of the world’s news leader with the storytelling and style of the world’s most interesting magazine. You’ll find fascinating features on the people, issues, and events you care about and won’t find anywhere else. You’ll feel enriched and enlightened, maybe a little smarter too. Look for more of your favorites on these NewsStand programs: CNN and FORTUNE, Wednesdays and CNN and ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY, Thursdays. CNN NewsStand. The magazines you love, on the network you trust.

This is what your house feels like on the new Coldwell Banker’s Real Estate website. It attracts a lot of attention - so your home can be seen by thousands of buyers - everyday until it’s sold. On-line…on the phone…or in person. Coldwell Banker. Making real estate easy.

If you need your house painted this summer, call College-Pro. College-Pro is just what it says it is. Smart kids who’ve been trained to paint professionally. They’re truly motivated to get the job done for you well, on time, and on budget. So, if you have the energy for a phone call, our COLLEGE-PRO PAINTERS will take care of the rest. Call 1-800-COLLEGE.

When you live in a COLUMBIA BUILDERS town home or single-family home, your better future begins each day. Because, built into every one of our homes are the two most important elements of continued satisfaction: lasting value and enduring quality. What else would you expect from Columbia’s Best Builder? Let us build a better home for you.

Sign up for comcast high speed internet today and ask how to receive our fast 4 megabit downloads! That’s up to 33% more speed! Call 1-888-comcast and get the gift you really wanted…more time. That’s comcast high speed internet for just $19.95 a month for 3 months plus add digital cable for just a dollar! Call 1-888-comcast today and be connected tomorrow. But hurry this offer won’t last long. Call now limited time offer speed comparisons may vary.

Last time we looked there were at least 300 television channels out there for you to watch and that is a lot. But, the way we look at it, Channel One is a channel in name only, because your average TV channel cannot give you abs workouts at exactly 7:42am. Nor can it become an instant karaoke machine when your friends stop by, or let you watch hundreds of free movies whenever you want. Yes, Channel One is a channel like on other. This is your On-Demand channel. Comcast Channel One, you may not need it, but you really really want it!

Introducing the first internet device for business. A kinder, simpler device, with an Intel Pentium Processor that taps into the power of the internet and meets all your business computing needs. The age of simple internet computing has arrived. Ipaq from Compaq.

OC: I'm not happy with your performance, umm, so. I'm letting you go. So, I guess what I'm saying is.I-I can't afford to keep you around here anymore. Where's the desire, the-the drive? I'm just, I'm not seeing it. Let's see, how can I put this, ah, you're fired You're canned. You're fired. No, you're-you're fired, you're canned. VO: Fire your bank. Switch to Compass. Compass Bank. Triple-free ATMs, Free checks for life. Free respect and appreciation.

Pretty much everyone hates big banks because they're condescending, impersonal and would prefer that you never come in. But people like the convenience of a big bank's ATM network, because they really, really hate being charged to withdraw their own money out of the ATM. The solution was to make every ATM on earth a Compass ATM. If you use another bank's ATM, Compass will rebate any ATM surcharge you're hit with. Switch to Compass. Compass Bank. Triple-free ATMs, Free checks for life. Free respect and appreciation.

Finally, lenses-wearers have a solution for end-of day dryness; only COMPLETE protect your lenses all day with a cushion of moisture. Complete protect system. If it doesn’t protect, it isn’t COMPLETE.

Incredible but true: to draw your business to Connecticut, we’re cutting corporate taxes and workers’ compensation. Plus, we’re offering some very juicy incentives. Call us at 1-800-392-2122. CONNECTICUT -- the state that thinks like a business.

I couldn’t stop laughing. I mean me…win the lottery? I couldn’t believe it! I mean, at first, I figured it was just my husband…or even a couple friends playing a joke on me. But when they gave me the money…well then I knew it was for real. I’ve been playing those same numbers for about 2 years…and wow…it really can pay off. The Connecticut lottery…somebody’s gotta win.

At ConocoPhillips, we’re not only finding new sources of natural gas, we’re developing new technologies to solve the demanding increase in global energy needs. We turn “what ifs” into “what’s next.” ConocoPhillips.

We’ve been developing leaders for 55 years. All you need is 5 days. The critical path to success begins at the Cornell Johnson School. Our Executive Education courses provide intensive, interactive learning experiences that enhance strategic vision while developing effective management skills. Enroll now at www.johnson.cornell.edu and start walking that path to success.

You can have a plan. You can have all the right information. But unless you hold these things up to your goals, assess them against your needs, and understand their effects on the future, you can’t make a truly informed decision. That’s where your CPA comes in. Because windows of opportunity aren’t always found. They’re created. The CPA. Never underestimates the value.

Appetizers with indecipherable names, $8.00 on debit M/C. Seafood that was swimming this morning, or still is $16.00 on debit. Practically moving, super stinky unbearably spicy, you must be crazy to try that dessert, $11.00 on debit.

Get what you want this holiday. A Dell Dimension 4300S. A completely personalized PC that’s made-to-order, so you get the very latest in power and performance at a terrific price. Plus, with Dell, you get award-winning service and support. Order the easy way. Visit www.dell4me.com or call toll free 1-800-433-2782.

Now there are twice as many reasons to love weekends, because when you use your Delta SkyMiles credit card on Saturdays and Sundays through December 31, 2002, you can earn double miles on virtually everything you buy. From flat-screen TV’s to holiday fruit baskets, diamond earrings to dinner for two, the more you use the Card, the more miles you can earn. And the sooner you can return to a vacation paradise where even Mondays are easy to love. Cardmembers must enroll online at Americanexpress.com/deltaoffers. With the Delta SkyMiles credit card from American Express, your next vacation is closer than you think.

So here it is … almost April fifteenth … and you still haven’t opened that IRA account like you said you were going to last year. Don’t worry, it’s not too late. Because at DENVER NATIONAL SAVINGS we’re staying open late all this week, just to help out people like you. So come see us. Think how good you’ll feel afterwards. Right? … RIGHT! Denver National Savings. Member FDIC. An equal housing lender. Visit your local branch for more details.

Design the perfect diamond engagement ring in just minutes. You'll have the rest of your life to design the perfect husband. Visit "a diamond is forever.com"

Design the perfect diamond engagement ring in just minutes. You'll have the rest of your life to the design the perfect husband. Visit a diamond is forever.com

You're an innovator at heart. At Digital Media Production, at the Art Institute of Atlanta, we'll work with you to bring your vision of life to the real world. Your art - it becomes your voice. Digital Media Production. The Art Institute of Atlanta. 1-800-278-9593.

After 30 days, most charge card companies give you a warning. But at Diners Club, we give you another 30 days. We understand that sometimes a three-day business trip turns into three weeks, and by necessity, you could use some extra time to pay your bill. That’s why we always give you the convenience of an extra billing period to pay when you need it…interest-free. Call us at 1-800-2-DINERS. We’ll answer all of your questions, no extra charge. Diners Club. Breaking the plastic mold.

Now showing, without going! Cozy up on your couch and order the show on remote with the best selection of PAY PER VIEW movies. BLOCKBUSTER TICKET. Only on DIRECTV. Let the movies come to you! To purchase a DIRECTV system call 1-800-DIRECTV.

Tired of playing the mortgage rate game? You know, when you hear one of those ads that promise you the moon, and you call up only to find out that the points are too high and there are hidden fees attached? Well, at Ditech.com there are no games, just low fixed rates with no middle man or broker fees. You can be pre-qualified on-line or over the telephone. There’s no advance fees prior to closing and no cancellation fees. Do it now….before the rates go up. Ditech.com. Call 1-800-71-FIXED.

All things being equal, you could plan your retirement without help. Of course, all things aren’t equal. So let someone help plan your future. Take advantage of Dreyfus Advice and Guidance, a personal financial planning service available through the new Lion Account. Call 1-800-THE LION. The Lion Account from Dreyfus. Rule your kingdom.

Does your current status affect your ability to move forward and gain financial success because you are experiencing discrimination , perhaps because of your age, physical appearance, educational attainment or limited work experience, sexual orientation, cultural biases, religious and political beliefs, the way you speak, and maybe even your social or legal status? Do you want to start your own online business earning in US dollars and spending in Pesos, but don’t have enough capital or don’t know how to begin? Do you want to get into a business that will run whether you are there or not? Do you know what products to sell online and where you can find them cheaper?

Introducing Dropship Unlimited - the trusted and dependable drop shipping company that reduces the risk of starting or growing your own online business. Drop shipping is a new business concept that you can start, work on, and grow from anywhere you have internet access. Amazingly, few people even know this exists. It is a business where discrimination can not prevent you from getting the financial freedom you deserve.

If you can unlock the secrets of nature, you can find miracles. At DuPont, we've been finding them for 200 years now. Miracles that have taken us from cold to warmth. From then to now. And on to a safer, healthier world. DuPont. The miracles of science.

Retirement? You? Hey, it’s never too early to starting thinking ahead, and the E*TRADE Retirement Center can help. With an E*TRADE IRA, you can invest in stocks, bonds, and more than 5200 funds. There aren’t any annual maintenance or set up fees either, so more of your money can work for you. Open an IRA with $1,000 or more now, and receive a free copy of Microsoft Money 2001. Just log onto etrade.com. So relax, you’ve got plenty of time before you retire. Just make sure you’re well-prepared when it happens. E*TRADE. It’s your money.

At Ebay, find the things that make you look like you. Choose from an unparalleled selection of designer clothing, shoes, jewelry and accessories. Do it Ebay.

You lose sleep over thread counts. You long for a blender that matches the toaster. You search for a table that sparks conversation. And choose candles just right for the season. This quest leads you to an extraordinary place. Where the selection is as big as the world. Ebay.

The road your business travels is changing at rapid speed. But you can take advantage of change to be more competitive, with computing and communications services from EDS. EDS focuses technology on business goals. Creates ways to improve quality and save time. Makes it all work together. You can’t control change, but you can take advantage of change … with EDS.

Need an inventory solution? We have one. Donating your excess inventory earns a generous tax write-off for your company. And creates college scholarships for needy students. EAL can convert your donation of inventory into financial aid. EAL. A great solution. … Request a free guide to learn more.

The only thing harder than finding someone … is dating them. Welcome to eHarmony… Now you will get to know someone while still having fun, safely and anonymously. eHarmony begins now… without the two drink minimum.

Elegant Bridal Productions is the number one Bridal Show Company in New Jersey, New York and Pennsylvania producing 80-100 shows annually. Their expos offer a professional and personalized atmosphere which is why they’ve been the undisputed number one Bridal Show Company in the Northeast region. They have also been the featured bridal productions vendor on the syndicated “Martha Stewart Show”. Visit one of their many expos and you’ll get to meet wedding professional experts and vendors. You’ll see the best live bands and DJ’s and a chance to win a honeymoon to over 10 locations…and always free admission. Visit Elegant Bridal Productions on the web at www.elegantbridal.com or for reservations and more information call them at 888-427-4339. Elegant Bridal Productions.

How do our mobile service solutions improve productivity? Whether it’s an emergency call or routine maintenance, for one site or many, when an EMCOR technician arrives on the job, you’ve got the knowledge of hundreds. Which means the right solutions consistently and efficiently. Meet Charles and our other experts at EMCORgroup.com. EMCOR in Baltimore and DC - the ultimate insider!

We’re the home for artists from little towns as far away as say, Liverpool. Paul McCartney’s new album Memory Almost Full available only on emusic.

Hey seniors, your last year of high school is stressful enough. I mean, after filling out a million applications, answering all those repetitive essay questions, nail-biting interviews and oh, yeah, waiting for a letter, the last thing you want to do is stress on how to pay for school. That’s why I went to Estudentloan.com. It’s the fastest and easiest way to find a student loan. Just use their loan finder to find lenders that meet your specific needs. Then just click and apply online. Because you have more important things to stress about, like finding a prom date. Estudentloan.com - work smarter, not harder.

If you had a dollar for every dollar car insurance companies say they'll save you by switching , you'd have like , a ton of dollars. But how are they saving you those dollars? A lot of companies might answer "um" or, "no comment". Then there's Esurance. Born online,raised by technology and majors in efficiency. So whatever they save,you save. Hassle,time,paperwork,hair tearing out, and yes,especially dollars. Esurance .. insurance for the modern world.

If you had a dollar for every dollar that car insurance companies say they'll save you when you switch , you'd have like , a ton of dollars. But how are they saving you those dollars? A lot of companies might answer "um" or, "no comment". Then there's Esurance. Born online,raised by technology and majors in efficiency. So whatever they save,you save. Hassle,time,paperwork, and yes,especially dollars. Esurance .. insurance for the modern world.

Look around out there. The world is full of invention. At Exelon, we think it’s time for utility companies to catch up. It’s time to do not just energy and infrastructure, but ideas. Okay. We’ll go first. Exelon. Welcome change.

Whatever you’re looking for in a vacation, you can find it at Expedia. Maybe it’s a romantic trip to Paris or a cultural trip to New York. However you want to put it all together, Expedia can help you create the trip that’s right for you.

Experts have always influenced what the people around them purchase.
So when you're selling a product, it helps if influential experts understand it; appreciate it; recommend it; and sell it for you.
There's no denying the power of experts, and Experticity can help you turn every salesperson where your product is sold into an expert on what you're selling.
We create custom, in-depth product websites on our 3point5.com platform to help retail sales experts truly understand your product; how it works; and what makes it unique.

Let’s talk. Smart people. Cool places. Hot topics. Subscribe to the Fast Company Fast Talk newsletter, filled with insight from top business leaders at: www.fastcompany.com. Fast Company Online

Okay, so you used the other guys and now your package is, well, maybe it’s not lost, but it sure didn’t get to the client’s office by 10 a.m., and now the boss wants to see you. So, next time, use Federal Express. Reliable, on time, courteous service, so your package arrives where it’s supposed to, when it’s supposed to … and at a very reasonable price. FEDERAL EXPRESS gets it there.

Okay – so – you used the udda guys - and now your package is – well – maybe it’s not lost, but it’s 10 a.m., and Fat Tony’s on the phone - now da’ boss - wants to drive you around the block, Cappiche?!

So next time – ha, (thinks to himself) - “next time” –

(laughter from goons in room)

HEY!!... (goons abruptly shut up)

…If - there should BE a next time - use Federal Express, ahh? Reliable - on time - courteous service, so your package arrives where & when –
it’s supposed to …
and at a very reasonable price.
Why would you NOT use FEDERAL EXPRESS? Fo’get about it….

It may seem far away, yet the best time to start saving for your child’s college education is now. That’s why we created the Fidelity College Savings Plan. It guides you through the steps you need to take today, so you and your child can have a head start on the high college costs of tomorrow. For a free FIDELITY COLLEGE SAVINGS PLAN Fact Kit, call 1 (800) 544-3889.

Trading commissions are the reason most people choose a discount broker in the first place. But today, more and more investors are turning to Fidelity because of all the “extra” fees so many full-cost brokers are adding on. At Fidelity, keeping our costs down means we can pass the savings along to you. So you can get fast, accurate trades for up to 76% less, and without all the hidden fees. For personal service, visit a FIDELITY INVESTOR CENTER, or call 24 hours to 1-800-544-7272.

Your investment savvy is helping build a business, an estate, and a legacy. Could it do the same for your charities? Smart investment decisions have been a fundamental reason for your success. So why not apply that same strategy to the way you donate to charity? You can with charitable gift fund from Fidelity Investments.

You hear it all the time. "Invest for the long term." Successful mutual fund investing takes patience and persistence. It takes investing with the firm that's been a mutual fund leader for well over 50 years. Get started today, with Fidelity Investments.

F&M makes banking a better banking experience … now with day and night full-service banking. Free checking and low charge business accounts put F&M right where you want us to be -- and doesn’t that make a difference to you? FIRST AND MERCHANTS … because you’re the best.

In today’s world, everyone needs a bank they can rely on. But, unfortunately, most modern banks are just too big to provide the kind of attention and service you need. First State Bank is the exception. At First State, you’ll discover that banking can be personal and friendly, as well as modern and efficient. FIRST STATE BANK. Today’s bank.

At Fleet, we value your relationship with us. That’s why we give FleetOne customers a ¼% discount on our home equity line rate, which is already one of the most competitive rates in the region. Plus, your equity line even counts toward waiving FleetOne monthly fees. Visit any Fleet location, call 1-800-CALL -FLEET, or visit fleet.com to apply. We’ll help you make a smarter decision.

We just spent the morning building nesting cavities for ducks. And yesterday, we planted wildflowers and a new species of cactus. That may seem a little unusual for someone who works for a Ford assembly plant but you see, I’m the official biologist. Our facility in Cuautitlan, Mexico is home to lots of wild geese, falcons, lizards, and shrikes. Our team of 15 people works full time to preserve and enhance the wetlands and wildlife in our 260-acre compound. A few feet from where our coworkers build F-Series trucks, we’re planting thousands of trees and the hummingbirds are laying eggs. I have a nice job, don’t you think?

There are new forces at work in America today -- creative, inventive and stimulating drives that will ultimately affect the way people think and behave in the world of business. Fortune Magazine is the one source to which individuals can turn for the information that is critical to their success. That source is FORTUNE MAGAZINE.

Frankfurt Kurnit Klein & Selz celebrates more than 25 years as a leading media, entertainment, and advertising law firm. We represent some of the world’s best-known publishers, producers, directors, distributors, celebrities, writers, athletes, financiers, online content and service providers, and many of the foremost advertising agencies, communications companies, and corporate brands. Our broad-based practice comprises fourteen practice groups and includes sophisticated intellectual property, commercial litigation, securities fraud, and white collar defense capabilities.

You grow up looking to your parents as your providers and protectors. Then one day, sometimes quite suddenly, the shoe’s on the other foot. As you yourself grow older, how can you be assured that you won’t be forced to depend on your own children for your care and security? It’s simple. We’re the Franklin Disability Insurance Company. We’re continually looking toward the future, so you’ll be prepared when it gets here. For more information, contact your broker. Here’s to a long life.

My wife and I have been thinking about retirement for a while. It’s scary -- I mean, we’ve put away some money, but not enough to cover us in case of an accident. Then I heard about Franklin Life Insurance. For only a dollar a day, I’m fully covered in case of an accident. Pick up your phone and call FRANKLIN LIFE INSURANCE at 1-800-454-2154.

Putting a fresh new face on your kitchen? Start with our Savannah faucet. Its classic styling and fine porcelain handles make it the perfect fit with any décor. As for features, you’ll appreciate Savannah’s high-arching spout that accommodates large cookware. Plus, its broad reach covers every inch of the sink. Each one is also backed by our Forever Warranty, which covers both finish and function for life. Traditional style meets timeless quality. Now that’s a fresh idea. Price Pfister. Pfreshest Ideas in Pfaucets.

Now Brooklyn Union lifetime energy gives me a lifetime of gas heat comfort, cleanliness, dependability and convenience. It’ll do the same for you. What’s more, any licensed plumber can do the conversation. You know, last year over 10,000 business and homeowners switched. So what are you waiting for????? with Brooklyn Union, it’s a lot brighter here------ on the sunny side of the street. Call Brooklyn Union today.

Funny how computers can make your life more difficult when their purpose is to make things easier. Well, the problem is you have all these different models and brands of portables that are unable to share components. So you’re stuck with the hassle and cost of maintaining a huge inventory of spare parts. Now here’s the solution. Gateway. Those days of wading through a mess of hardware are over. Ahhh...life is good.

These days, it seems as if every car insurance company needs a symbol. Things like a blanket or a hand. Well, if Geico had a symbol, it would surely be the frontal lobe of the cerebral cortex. You see…it’s here, deep within the brain, that nerve impulses figure out, “Hey…it’s smarter to buy car insurance from GEICO.” Over 10,000 drivers switch each week! So call for a free rate quote today. Yep, the brain’s a great symbol. We just can’t imagine the medulla oblongata on our stationary. Call 1-800-4-GEICO. GEICO Direct, the sensible alternative. Not available in New Jersey or Massachusetts.

Fred Flinstone, an employee of slaterock gravel company. His wife Wilma, a stay at home mom. Yet on this working mans salary, how did Wilma afford a necklace made of huge rocks? An investigation would reveal that Fred had the Flint-mobile insured with Geico.

The people who created the first biofidelic crash test dummy…who introduced the first infant safety carrier…who designed the first traction control system…who pioneered the side-guard door beam…and who developed the first child restraint system…have seen the results of their efforts in over 200 million cars and trucks from over 25 different manufacturers. All because the people of one company believed that nothing could be more important than helping to save lives. General Motors…People in Motion.

When it comes to stretching fuel, General Motors’ new cars and trucks offer GM’s best EPA mileage ever. And financing from GMAC can go a long way towards helping you get the kind of fuel efficiency you need today. You see, automotive financing is GMAC’s only business. GMAC not only has money available, but at interest rates that make sense. So for cars, trucks, and financing that can go the distance, see a GM Dealer that offers GMAC Financing. GMAC -- the financing people from General Motors.

When it comes to working out, you need more … more personal trainers … more machines … more bang for your buck. That’s where Gold’s Gym comes in. Gold’s Gym has more … more of everything. Check us out in Fairfield, Stratford, and our new location in Norwalk. GOLD’S GYM -- more than a gym. Call us about our special introductory offer.

Now you can turn any computer into your computer with GoToMyPC. GoToMyPC lets you work on your office PC from any computer. It's like taking your office with you wherever you go. GotoMyPC.

Whether you’ve got one left foot or two, Gotta Dance Studios gets them both moving. From ballroom to ballet, our teachers are trained to train the untrained -- and to love it. We know that everybody’s gotta dance, and we need every body -- every shape, every size, every age -- all bodies to come on down to GOTTA DANCE and dance. And bring both left feet. Classes start June 1st.

I have a confession to make. I really don't like yard work. You know. The mowing. The mulching. The weeding. The pruning...the constant battle between you and mother nature. Let's face it - I have more important things to do. So, I’ve given up. Quit. Resigned. Turned it over the pro's: Green Thumb landscaping and lawn care. I say: "mulch". They mulch. I say: "mow" - they say "how high?" Now I love yard work - I could sit and watch it all day long. Green thumb - for people who love to hate yard work.

Grand Opening! Greenpoint Bank 2379 Broadway at 87th Street. Free Checking , No Monthly Fees, No Per Check Charge, No Minimum Monthly Balance. Save more. Earn more. Smile more. Greenpoint Bank member FDIC.

It’s the biggest party in college and I have to look my best, so I called my friend Heather to see what she’s wearing.” Hi Heather, it’s me, Heather too!” See, with GTE 3-way calling we can all talk at the same time.

How does your garden grow? Your indoor garden, that is. Today, believe it or not, you can grow anything indoors as well as out. Not just African violets… but also geraniums, azaleas, ferns, even orchids. The secret is Gro-Lux… a special fluorescent lamp from GTE Sylvania, that stimulates plant’s growth. Gro-Lux. Another product to make your life a little nicer, from GTE.

Visor - What You Make It. Just insert an optional module and your Visor turns into a digital camera, a phone, an MP3 Player or whatever you need it to be. What more could you want from technology? Visit us online for availability. www.handspring.com

Would you like to retire here? Or here? Investments. Insurance. 190 years of wisdom. The Hartford. Always thinking ahead.

For writers at all levels, the Harvard Summer Writing Program offers small classes, college credits, a reading series, a student magazine, and workshops on special topics, such as Writing with Sources and Writing College Application Essays.

He has a 160 IQ, performs cardiac surgery for a living. And now, he can even operate his home entertainment system. Introducing Harvey Home Theater. It’s so sophisticated, it’s simple. Dimensions of sight and sound unheard of, until now. All at your fingertips. Now, if he could only operate the microwave. Home Theater from Harvey, not your ordinary electronics store. Call for the Harvey near you.

A box without service is a box. With hp people, hp superdome becomes a solution instead of a server. Service is comprehensive and included. We handle site planning, integration services, customized training, and monitoring. It’s service made simple. So simple, in fact, that we can adjust your capacity over the phone. Without, ironically, a service call. hp.com. hp. invent.

Take a closer look. A law firm that consistently exceeds its clients’ expectations for more than a century, deserves a closer look. It is the combination of our global reach, unrivaled industry depth, and interdisciplinary team approach that makes us the law firm of choice. Hogan & Hartson. Global reach. Industry depth. Client Service. Caring people.

The New Year’s resolution diet. The first real date in two years diet. The wedding day diet. The honeymoon diet. The “It can’t be summer, I haven’t lost any weight yet” diet. The before the baby diet. The after the baby diet. At last, the Holiday Spa Appetite Suppression Diet. For one hour a day, forget about what you can’t have, and think about what you can. HOLIDAY SPA -- the diet that works!

The Home Depot is more than a store. Whether it’s supplies, tools, or just a little advice. We’ve got you covered. So stop procrastinating. Come to The Home Depot and start checking off some of those items on that “to do” list. The Home Depot. You can do it. We can help.

Your home is your most important investment. How much is it actually worth? Homegain.com is the first real estate website that helps you find out for FREE, using our Valuation tool. We also provide you with an instant report of comparable properties sold in your neighborhood. In fact, Home Gain offers a complete suite of beneficial tools and information for homeowners.

What is organization? To some it’s finding empty space and stashing things away- out of sight, out of mind. To others it’s tidying up an existing mess- taming the clutter. But we think organization is more than that- it’s about having simple, beautiful, smart storage solutions. www. homeorg.com 1.800.562.4257

From the secret palaces of the Orient....from the modern masters of Hollywood Vividcolor ...comes the most alluring, most entrapping, most reality altering, lipstick ever. It's (CHINESE GONG) hypnotic honeydew.

Hypnotic honeydew. It's not just a lipstick...it's pharmacological entrapment. He'll never know what hit him. One kiss and he's helpless; one kiss and he's yours forever!

Although this secret formula has long been illegal in India, it's now available in the United States though a special agreement with the Bureau of Wildlife Domestication. Try it; you life will never be the same again.

So forget about tight jeans, forget about long hair, forget about push-up bras....Hypnotic Honeydew is here!

Remember, if you don't use it on that special guy, someone else will! Act now while there's still time! Hypnotic Honeydew is available in a unmarked brown box. Hypnotic Honeydew. One kiss and he's yours forever!

It’s amazing how much stuff one itty-bitty baby needs. Get a grip. On a mouse. Then click. One will get you to ibaby. Put your feet up. Relax. You order from home. We deliver to your door. Choose what you want. Get what you need. Simply amazing.

I can't believe I used to pay up to 25 cents a minute for my long distance calls. But I did with MCI. I also tried Sprint at 10 cents a minute and AT&T at 7 cents. But now that I've switched to IBC Long Distance, I pay just 5 cents a minute for all state to state calls, all day everyday. It's the best flat rate long distance available. I can talk to my grandkids in the mid-west and my brother in Florida. Why, for 5 cents a minute, a 20-minute call is just one dollar. And unlike those other companies, IBC gives me 6 second billing so I never pay for time I don't use. It takes just one call to IBC --- I'll never switch again.

To stay competitive, you’re constantly searching for better ways to orchestrate the flow of information. How do you get more out of your PCS? How can you make the most of your existing systems? What can be done to streamline your organization? More often than not, the answer is IBM Client/Server. For more and more companies, IBM Client/Server is the key to getting everyone working in concert. We’ve done it for hundreds of companies…we can do it for you. IBM.

Identity theft has become one of the major concerns facing people today, and you need to know that you are protected and safe from it. You don’t have to fear being a victim of identity theft or identity fraud when you sign up for our Identity Theft Protection plan. When you enroll in Identity Theft Protection, our experts do regular credit checks and can assist you with steps to take, should your credit be damaged by fraud. Life brings all of us unexpected events and problems. We know that sometimes these problems and events mean you need some assistance facing the challenges they bring. That’s why we offer our Debt Security benefit, to help you meet those unexpected challenges.

You're paying more than you have to for local and long distance phone service. Smarten up, and take notice. Unlimited local and long distance calling- just 39 dollars a month. IDT, smart call.

Your in the mix with Impulse entertainment

Here’s how this works. You pay Infinity of Baltimore zero down payment, zero interest and no payments for a year and we send you $500.00. Nice.

InfoSpace is a leader in mobile entertainment, private-label search and online directory. Our company is comprised of two divisions - Search & Directory and Mobile.Our Search and Directory division uses our unique metasearch technology to provide internet search and directory services. The Mobile division offers wireless solutions that help customers build stronger brands and generate incremental revenue. We enable delivery of information and entertainment services to consumers, while creating opportunities for partners, advertisers and content publishers.

Determining how much money you will need can be tricky. A financial planner trained in providing guidance in the area of retirement planning would be a valuable resource to consider. We can help you with financial planning through Aetna Investment Services, LLC member SIPC. For more information please call 1-888-681-3153.

It's your money; make it work a little in an orange savings account from ING Direct. Your money will earn America's highest yield with no minimums or fees. Almost four times the national average. It's easy to open. You don't even have to change banks. And it's FDIC insured. What's the catch? No catch. We're not big on fans of catches. Call 1 800 ING DIRECT or visit ING Direct. com.

Hyper-Security. Hyper-Threading Technology from Intel. Why choose between PC security and PC performance? The Intel Pentium 4 Processor with HT Technology is engineered to let PCs do two things at once-without the frustrating lags. So you can run a background virus scan as you get some real work done. Get all the details at intel.com/go/ht.

What's the most amazing thing you ever saw?
Was it something big or something small?
Something old or something new, or maybe, just maybe
it's something you haven't seen yet.
The second generation of Intel Core Processors,
stunning visuals , intelligent performance,
this is visibly smart.

Cherries in winter, peaches in spring. It’s not the weather that’s changed, it’s the packaging. INTERNATIONAL PAPER. We answer to the world.

Chilean grapes land in Marseilles. California melons touch down in Warsaw. Tucsan tomatoes arrive in Kyoto. What helps them survive the trip? Package design that anticipates reality: temperature swings, humidity, jostling, customs delays, curious spiders, and the occasional 15-foot plunge from a cargo ship’s hoist. And in a lab where we mimic the rigors of global travel, our packages are tested until they reveal their every strength and weakness. We do it for our customers, and for all of you who crave fresh, unbruised cherries in midwinter. International Paper. We answer to the world.

The digital age hasn’t created a paperless society. Just a revolution in paper. INTERNATIONAL PAPER. We answer to the world.

It’s been suggested since the dawn of the computer age. A future in which everything worth knowing is accessible on screen. But as it turns out, people don’t just want information at their fingertips. They want in on their fingertips They want to be able to touch, fold and, dog-ear; to fax, copy, and refer to; scribble in the margins or post proudly on the refrigerator door. So today, as people require more paper than ever, our research centers are responding with new papers for home and business. From printing paper to fine art paper to digital photography paper, we’re committed to providing the “Paperless Society” with all the paper it needs. International Paper. We answer to the world.

Have you ever created or invented a new product? Don’t let it just sit there. Do something about it. Call the inventor’s helpline. With offices world wide we’ll provide you with financial forms and useful information describing the invention process. And when you call right now, you’ll receive a free brochure, which tells you how to begin and develop your new idea. So get the ball rolling. Pick up your phone right now and call for your free inventor’s kit. For more information call 1-800-873-4022

Deploying IP Telephony can be a smart move. Gone are the days when there were numerous cables for your regular fixed line telephone system; when you would keep your gaze fixed at the clock while making an international call to your family or business. All this has changed with the introduction of voice over IP telephony.

In the 21st century, you run your entire business electronically. So why not file your business taxes the same way? It’s more economical with less paperwork. It’s more efficient with increased accuracy. And it¹s more effective since you¹ll spend less time filing tax returns and more time focused on your business. File Smart. File Electronic. IRS e-file for Business. E-fficient. E-ffective. E-conomical. The Internal Revenue Service. Working to put service first. Visit www.irs.gov

Now more than ever, companies need to inspire their business-critical audiences. They need to reach out to customers and give their employees a sense of purpose. And sensitive frequent and effective communication is the key. At Jack Morton Worldwide, we create experiences that inspire customers and employees. Face-to-face meetings and events. Web and satellite broadcasts. Corporate and retail environments. Experiences that increase understanding, loyalty, performance and results. Our mission is to inspire your business community. We offer our expertise, our global network and our support.

What's the sound of a market turning around? Janus is keeping both ears open. Searching out the companies that can perform today, and offering the best promise for tomorrow. Never relying on numbers alone, but tuning in to the whole story about the companies behind the stocks. It's the same approach that has gotten Janus ahead - with the volume turned up. Call 1-800-JANUS-80.

What does a sound investment sound like? Janus found a radio network with big plans. So Janus did some high frequency fact finding. Went out to the stations. Sat down with their books. And their managers. And found out the stations were doing better than anyone expected. Music to Janus’ ears, and proof that tuning into the details, can turn up sweet opportunities. Sound good? Get there. Janus Mutual Funds.

For a common sense approach to weight loss, call Jenny Craig. Our new carb option lets you eat out. You can even have pasta and potatoes. Join now and lose 20 pounds plus the cost of food. Call 1-800-51-Jenny.

Now more than ever, organizations need the profound insights of Joel Barker's, The New Business of Paradigms. For more than a decade, futurist Joel Barker has helped organizations deal with change. He is one of the world's most influential speakers and authors on the subject of change and how to manage it. Today, his message is more important than ever. His best-selling training program has been reinvented to meet the demands of today's changing world. We all know the rules for success in our professions. We all know that these rules, or paradigms, can change at any time. Joel Barker's, The New Business of Paradigms explains the importance of recognizing and embracing paradigm shift.

When you're looking for the hottest basketball and running shoes, plus huge savings on great styles for the entire family, go to Just For Feet. Hurry in for savings of up to $35.00 on hot new arrivals. Our trained fit experts are standing by to help find your perfect shoe at just for feet.

Hi, I'm Pecos Red. Ever heard the term: “All Hat and no cattle”? That’s the problem with a lot of boots – I know. Sounds weird; but the thing of it is that most boots don’t do the same things your feet do, like expand - and - contract when you take a step.
Most boots are rigid, which is why your “dawgs commence to barkin’” and get all swole up, from yer boot-heels
a wanderin’….
At Justin Boots, our technology is a simple i.d. that comes right out of the way your foot works. It’s how we build
ever’ boot we make, so’s it expands - and flexes the way your foot does when it’s out riding the range, or just boot-scootin’ out at Billy Bob’s.
Justin Boots Quality – It’s a DANG good thing.
I’m Pecos Red, remindin’ ya – never kick a cow chip on a hot day!
Justin Boots. Don’t wear ‘em... Use ‘em

Finding the right employee is everything to our business. It's a skill we've meticulously crafted over 55 years of pioneering and leading the staffing industry. And the more you know about how hard we work for you, the more confident you'll be in the value you're receiving from us. Ever wonder what happens at Kelly Services from the time you place an order to the time the right person walks through your door? It's a complicated process, but built upon a very simple premises. We are committed to you. And we'll take every step possible to ensure you're satisfied with your new employee.

You invest to grow. To help provide a better tomorrow for you and your family. To select an investment is an act of trust. For years, families all over America have felt secure in placing that trust in the Kemper name. Ask your financial representative about the investment products of Kemper Financial Services.

How would you like to brighten the spirit of everyone you know this holiday season? It’s easy, with personalized gifts and greetings from Kinko’s. Just bring in your most memorable pictures and we’ll turn them into one-of-a-kind calendars and greeting cards. Or maybe use our KODAK Picture Maker to turn your favorite photos into frame-ready prints in minutes. Whether it’s a family photo that your relatives will cherish forever, or a baby picture that will embarrass your kids for years to come, come to Kinko’s. For locations in your area, call 1-800-2KINKOS. Or check us out online at www.kinkos.com.

Perfect for race cars, down hill skiers and kids learning to fly. Kodak Max Versatility Plus film gives you clear, sharp pictures in all conditions, even fast action. So even if his childhood flies by, at least it won’t be a blur. Kodak. Share moments. Share life.

When is it super to get up early? When it's super Saturday at Kohls, where you can get early bird specials from 7am to 1pm. You can explore the store for serious savings in every department. So set those alarms, you'll want to get up early for super Saturday at Kohls, expect great things.

If you’ve been hurt in a car accident, or any kind of accident, you need a lawyer. Our lawyers can help you get money. Call the LAWYER’S GROUP at 1-800-677-2020. Speak with a lawyer in your neighborhood for free. Your lawyer gets paid only if you collect money. So -- if you’ve been hurt in a car accident, or any kind of accident, call toll-free 1-800-677-2020. We help injured people. Call 1-800-677-2020.

Laytners Linen and Home Spring Cleaning Floor Sample Furniture Sale Save 25%-60% off original prices. 400 thread count 100% cotton sheets sets $59.95 valued at $100.

Life insurance. It isn’t for the people who die, it’s for the people who live. Are you prepared? Without insurance, your financial plan may be just a savings and investment program that dies when you do. What will your family do then? An insurance agent or other financial professional can help you create a plan that will provide for the people you love after you’re gone. To learn more, call 1-800-LIFE-777 or visit our website at www.LifeLine.org

I have a mother. I have a father. I even have a big brother. I don’t need someone else looking out for me. I need someone who can help me look out for myself. At Lincoln Financial Group, their goal is to make the financial world clear and understandable, so I can make informed decisions. Lincoln Financial Group. Clear solutions in a complex world.

At Lincoln Financial Group, we provide a broad range of financial solutions to help you enjoy the work of a lifetime. Our retirement transition ideas and our estate planning solutions can help make sure you're on target for today as well as the future. See your financial advisor or call 1-877-ASK LINCOLN. www.LFG.com Lincoln Financial Group…Clear solutions in a complex world.

Leave a legacy without having a wing of a building named after you. Leaving a legacy is about much more than writing a check. You may find that how you spend your time is even more personally rewarding. At Lincoln Financial Support Group, we support your plans with products that offer the unique mix of protection and growth potential you require. So you can focus simply on how to invest your time. For more retirement income security solutions, see your financial advisor, or visit LFG.com/retire

Watching so many local banks being swallowed up by bigger out-of-state companies, I decided to take a closer look at my own bank. And it was clear I hadn’t been seeing straight for a while. Service charges, rules ... but when I looked at my LOCAL CREDIT UNION, I was shocked! The credit union offers everything the bank did, minus the rules and service charges. So I took my checking out of the bank, and checked it into the credit union. So take my advice and check out your hometown credit union. Up close, it’s gonna look great.

Is there a better way to buy mutual fund shares? Yes. Through Lombard Brokerage. Yes. Lombard offers no-load funds. Yes. We have funds without transaction fees. Yes. We have free IRA accounts. Yes. We give you free research and market information from Thompson market edge. Lombard Brokerage. Investing in information.

148 million people on the internet, 67,000 more jump in every day. With so many people doing so much business, no wonder it's sometimes so unpredictable. And that's where we come in. We make the things that make the internet faster, more reliable, everything you always imagined it could be. Lucent technologies. We make the things that make communications work.

148 million people on the internet, 67,000 more jump in every day. With so many people doing so much business, no wonder it's sometimes so unpredictable. And that's where we come in. We make the things that make the internet faster, more reliable, everything you always imagined it could be. Lucent technologies. We make the things that make communications work.

Where’s the Internet? Anywhere you want it to be. Because Lucent Technologies is making the internet…global. With a new generation of networks that puts the full power of the net, right where you need it. With the global internet from Lucent, you can do amazing things and always stay a step ahead. Lucent Technologies... Expect Great Things.

Today’s kids are born believing that fast isn’t fast enough. The Optical Internet we’re helping to create offers unlimited bandwidth. So kids can send streaming video of their birthday party. Or download pictures from their cousins in nanoseconds. And actually have time left to email their grandparents. Change the way kids communicate, and you change the way they live. Lucent Technologies. We make the things that make communications work.

If you have a friend, Lucille Roberts has a great deal for the both of you. It's Lucille Roberts' 2-for-1 Sale. Get two memberships for the price of one when you join with a friend. Call 1-800-USA-LUCILLE to get this 2-for-1 sale, and get two memberships for the price of one!

Jewelry...robes and slippers...cashmere...caviar...Shop the world’s finest brands for the holidays. Luxuryfinder.com.

Everybody can use a little help when they’re out on the road- and that’s where MailBoxes Etcetera comes in. We get it done. And we get it done right. Mailboxes Etcetera.

Time to transfer? Manhattan College has it all. More than 40 majors in the Schools of Arts, Business, Education, Engineering and Science. Perfect-size classes - the student-faculty ratio is 16 to 1. A core commitment to values and principles. An exceptional network of successful alumni to pitch in after graduation. If you’re ready to make your move, come see why Manhattan is the right one. Manhattan College. A LaSallian Catholic College since 1853. Call 1-800-MC2-XCEL or go to www.manhattan.edu

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We all hope it never happens, but sometimes injuries do occur.

If you have been in an auto accident, had a slip and fall accident, or perhaps are the victim of Medical Malpractice, you need some like Marone, Smith, and Wrigley on your team.

With 24 hour service, they will consult with you at home or in the hospital, even on weekends.

Serving the Greater Phoenixville and Collegeville areas, phone questions and office visits are free. So call Ronald A. Marone at 610 555-1234

No fee until you collect the money!

OK, so today is my birthday - my lucky day, right? So I decided to buy a Maryland scratch-off lotto ticket. I figured: what have I got to lose? It’s my BIRTHDAY! OK - so I scratched off a final “6” and it matched up. So I’m thinking, alright, 30 bucks or something - cool. But then the next number said “One million” and I started to freak out.

A promise that warmth doesn’t just come from a coat. A promise we don’t have to share everything, except maybe dessert. A promise this is a feeling you never have to outgrow. With over $160 billion in assets under management and excellent ratings, MassMutual and its subsidiaries have the financial strength to help families and businesses keep their promises. MassMutual. The Blue Chip Company.

Small business software: $300 2000 sq. feet downtown: $5000/month fax machine and photocopier: $800 Earning points you can use to get a [shitzu puppy for an] officemate: Priceless. Every time you use your MasterCard Business Card with Business Bonuses, you earn points good for anything, anywhere you see the MasterCard logo. (Even a new furry friend) Other credit cards limit you to airline miles or make you pick something out of a catalog. But with MasterCard , you¹re the boss of your own rewards program. Call 1-866-444-BONUS or visit mastercardbonus.com to enroll There are some things money can¹t buy. For everything else there¹s MasterCard.

In the real world, gold cards aren’t status symbols. They’re tools. And none is more useful than Gold MasterCard. You see, no gold card is more accepted on the planet. It has a credit line of at least $5000, and you can use it to get local currency at ATMs all over the world, so it’s a very smart thing to have. Really. GOLD MASTERCARD. It’s more than a gold card. It’s smart money.

MasterCard has something special in store for you this holiday. Master Values. Now use MasterCard and save up to 24% at some of your favorite stores. Save on the latest music at Sam Goody and Music Land. Coats to camcorders at Montgomery Ward and save on Mattel toys at Toys ‘R Us. Look for Master Values only from MasterCard at these and other fine stores, and Master the Moment.

The earth travels at 66-thousand miles per hour ... the human eye blinks once every four seconds ... a new home goes up every one point eight seconds ... this commercial is already 15 seconds old. In a world that moves this fast, how will you ever keep up? The McGRAW-HILL COMPANY ... keeping the world up to speed.

They created electronic trading. And a global intranet became their trading floor. An intranet now able to handle a billion shares a day. With trades flashed to 300,000 monitors around the world in milliseconds. With reliability critical, with no room for error... who did NASDAQ turn to? to build and manage the world’s largest intranet? MCI. Imagine now what we can do for you.

Our twin aims drive all that we do. We only serve clients when we are convinced that we can help them to achieve real and lasting improvements in their performance. And we also regard the development of our people as equally important. To find out more about McKinsey & Company, visit our corporate website.

At point A, you’re born. At point B, you’re history. What happens in between is up to you. Live longer-and better-with Men’s Health.

Someday, a job interview, they’ll ask, “Do you work well under pressure?” Try not to laugh. Mercata. Sometimes down is good. Presenting Mercata. The new way to shop where prices go down while you watch. The more people who buy, the lower the price. Drive down prices at Mercata.com.

Now there's an auto insurance company in Florida that offers low rates and outstanding service. It's Mercury Insurance…Rated A+ Superior by AM Best, with over $3 billion in assets. Over a thousand drivers a day switch to Mercury because of the money they save. In (Tallahassee), you could save up to $500 a year or more. Call today for a fast, free quote. Call 1-888-4-Mercury. Mercury Insurance. Savings - Service - Security.

Are you ready for a new life, a new future, a new you? Then Mercy College is here to help. Mercy’s supportive staff, small classes and flexible programs will have you well on your way to a brand new you. With 5 convenient locations, including Manhattan and the Bronx, as well as online classes, we make it easy for you to get to class. So what are you waiting for? Call 1-800-Mercy-NY or visit us at www.mercy.edu. Classes are starting soon for the Fall 2006 term. Start your new life at Mercy.

The American Dream: To buy a home, send the kids to college, and retire comfortably. You may not be able to count on a large inheritance, a generous pension, or ever-increasing Social Security benefits to help make that dream come true. Fortunately, you can count on Merrill Lynch. For more information, call 1-800-637-7455. The difference is Merrill Lynch.

Madelyn and John Cole know how to build memories for a lifetime. But when it comes to building their estate and preserving its value for their family, they turn to Lynette Noll, their Merrill Lynch Financial Advisor. Lynette helps them develop a financial strategy that goes beyond stocks. Including charitable trusts and annuities to provide the greatest advantage to each of their heirs. These are the sophisticated solutions Merrill Lynch uses to help the Coles secure their family's future. Is your Financial Advisor doing the same? Contact a Merrill Lynch Financial Advisor. Call 1-800-MERRILL or visit askmerrill.ml.com

When you buy a MetroCard, you get access to all the famous places in the entire city. And with an Unlimited Ride Card, you can hop on and off New York City Transit subways and local buses as many times as you like, all day long. It’s the fastest, least expensive way to see it all. For more information, call 800 METROCARD. And let us be your guide.

This might be a good time to talk about the Michelin X1. Thanks to Michelin technology, it gives you long mileage and better wet braking than any rain tire. And that should make everyone on a wet road happy.

We see you getting the next big idea. We see 400 employees in 5 years. New partnerships and new ideas exchanged freely. At Microsoft, it's what makes us.

We see a company with your name on it. We’re inspired by people who think big. We’re inspired by people who work tirelessly in pursuit of goals that may seem impossible to everyone but them. It’s why we’re passionate about creating software that helps them realize those grand ambitions. Visit Microsoft.com/potential. Your potential. Our passion.

Our mission is not just to unlock the potential of today's new technologies. It is to help unleash the potential in every person, family, and business. We want to help you do the things you do every day—express your ideas, manage your finances, build your business—faster, easier, and better. At Microsoft, we see the world not as it is, but as it might someday become.

Look Close. To perform my best, I need to give my body the attention it deserves. That’s why I eat right, exercise and drink milk. Studies suggest the nutrients in 3 glasses of lowfat or fat free milk a day can help you maintain a healthy weight. And the protein helps build muscle for a lean body. You’ll see.

When you’re off in another city, it’s important to keep up with what’s happening back home. That’s why MobileComm City-Link service lets you get complete, up-to-the-minute messages, on a city-by-city basis, in all 50 states, all for as little as $25 a month. So stop by your nearest MOBILECOMM office, or call toll-free 1-800-345-5959, and start covering the country, one city at a time.

There will always be people richer than you. But there don't have to be so many. Money. You need this magazine.

Diversity. It's not an obligation-it's an opportunity. To make a difference, a company must keep its eyes open to different ways of thinking. That's why we take diversity seriously in all aspects of our business-from our employees, to our customers, to the companies that supply us with the goods and services that enable us to do business. At Morgan Stanley, we understand that diversity is not an obligation it's an opportunity. Morgan Stanley.

DEMO

DEMO

Where do you want to go today? Whether it’s streaming audio or video, larger data files or richer graphics, never before has the need for faster downloads been so great. That’s why we created the new X2 Technology 56K modem, the fastest on-line service ever. With MSN it’s click and go.

Do it now. Do it till you can’t do it anymore. Do it without any long-term commitment. Subscribe to Napster for less than the price of a CD and collect as many songs as your hard drive can handle. It’s legal, safe and always in the mood. Try it free at Napster.com. Napster - Doing it a lot is ok.

It all began with a simple idea: Create a bank that would specialize in dealing with businesses -- Connecticut businesses -- to build long-term banking relationships with young, ambitious, aggressive companies. That idea has become a reality -- and that reality is NationsBank. NATIONSBANK. Where your business is our business.

You have put yourself in position to reach your financial goals. The challenge is how to master them with skill and ease. The answer lies in Private Banking at NationsBank. We offer those with created or inherited wealth a full set of financial services, enhanced by the expertise and personal attention of the NATIONSBANK Private Banker.

Unlike investment banks, Neuberger Berman wasn’t created to underwrite stocks. For over 60 years, we’ve specialized in one thing: managing money. Why is that so important? It means there are no hidden agendas when we buy or sell stocks for you. It means there are no distractions, either: we spend all our time sweating every detail of your portfolio. And mostly, it means we can help you realize your goals. For more information and a list of our offices across the country, visit us at nb.com. Neuberger Berman. Money management is what we do.

Wealth is a great achievement and a great responsibility. It can take over your time or it can enhance your life. How do you make wealth work for you rather than the other way around? Neuberger Berman has solutions. For more than sixty years we’ve helped people manage wealth and preserve capital. Neuberger Berman. Money management is what we do.

New Image has been a leader in plastic surgery for more than five years, and the company you’ve relied on for the finest in plastic surgery instrumentation. It’s this experience that makes us the only company to call for all your plastic surgery needs. For more information on how New Image plastic surgery can benefit you, contact your local sales representative, or call 1-800-367-7874.

You won't see New York Life listed on a stock exchange because we're a mutual company. Being mutual means we're owned by our policyholders, not stockholders. Rather than focusing on quarterly results, we care about the long term. After you buy a New York Life policy, you may not need us for years, or even decades. But when you do, we'll be there. To us, our policyholders are really buying a promise--that we'll be here to pay a claim, fund your retirement, or pay for nursing home costs. That's why New York Life focuses on what really matters in the long term: financial strength and integrity. You can trust that we'll keep our promises to you, just as we have for over 155 years. New York Life: The Company You Keep.

Peace of mind is waiting to meet you all across the country. In towns big and small, there's a New York Life agent who can help you to secure your future and protect your family. New York Life--The Company You Keep.

Peace of mind is waiting to meet you all across the country. In towns big and small, there's a New York Life agent who can help you to secure your future and protect your family. New York Life--The Company You Keep.

Since 1845 we've been providing financial strength for the most important people in the world, your loved ones. But what we're most proud of is helping you put their needs above your own. Making sure they'll always be taken care of is the most selfless gift you can ever give them. New York Life. The Company you Keep.

Peace of mind is waiting to meet you all across the country. In towns big and small, there's a New York Life agent who can help you to secure your future and protect your family. New York Life--The Company You Keep.

Turn your passion into a profession with a career in restaurant management. At the New York Restaurant School, we'll give you the theory as well as the practical, hands-on training managers need to succeed in the thriving food service industry. From kitchen operation to front-of-the-house. Flexible class schedules are available five days a week. To get started, call the New York Restaurant School now at 1-800-556-8215. That's 1-800-556-8215.

New York Stock Exchange - When the bell rings, it’s a symbol of our pledge to serve the investor. With new standards, leadership, and a renewed commitment to being the best market on earth. Its your market, and there’s only one trade that matters here. Yours. The New York Stock Exchange.

Call now for 8 weeks of the New York Times, including the amazing Sunday Times - featuring Arts & Leisure, Sunday styles, and the magazine, all for 50% off. Call 1-800-654-2060 now and get the times delivered to your home every day.

The New York Times offers you world-class coverage of events. Overthrown governments. Acts of diplomacy. Plummeting stocks. Rising stocks. Mudslinging. Filibustering, and other timely issues. THE NEW YORK TIMES. Pick up a copy at a newsstand today. Or to inquire about home delivery, call 1-800-NY-TIMES.

"To make the most of your future, make the most of yourself. New York University"--- New York University.

Now, get 50 issues of the New Yorker for just $18. Save $107 off the cover price and get this special cartoon collection free with your paid subscription. Call 1-800-847-7200 now.

When you look at the news, it’s easy to forget our world isn’t just war and conflict. At Newsweek, we know you’re looking for more. So, we stir the soul -- with the cry of a baby -- the birth of an idea -- the making of a champion -- a masterpiece in art. At Newsweek, we do more than report the news -- at Newsweek, we report to you. NEWSWEEK. More than just the news.

….Get free incoming cellular calls when you sign up for a Nextel free-incoming call plan by June 30, 2001. New activation, credit approval and one-year promotional agreement required. Call 1-800Nextel 9 or go to Nextel.com to find a Nextel store near you.

Introducing the latest phones from Nokia. Nokia makes more mobile phones than anyone in the world. See if we¹ve made one for you. To find yours today and to download new games, ring tones, and more ­ visit www.nokia.com.

Today Nortel Networks is changing the way businesses communicate. [Come Together] Bringing it all together with the true power of the internet. Nortel Networks. How the world shares ideas.

They both took care of business. Took care of their families. So why will one leave his family with every advantage, while the other leaves everything to chance? Northwestern Mutual Financial Network. Are you there yet?

Some of the most useful information often comes in quiet conversations. So, maybe it’s time for you to speak with a financial advisor at Northwestern Mutual. For more than 145 years, Northwestern Mutual and its products have quietly earned a most enviable reputation. For more information, visit n-m-f-n.com. Northwestern Mutual Financial Network. Isn’t it time for a quiet conversation?

Their parents both have great jobs. Same cars. Same vacations. So why will one family be paying for college, while the other is praying for a scholarship? The difference is a Northwestern Mutual Financial Network Representative, offering expert guidance in planning for your children’s education, and a network of specialists to help you reach all your financial goals. Northwestern Mutual Financial Network. Innovative solutions for retirement, estate, insurance, and personal finance. Are you there yet?

Companies are struggling to change...Struggling with the complexities of e-business. Well, now it can all work together as one net. With net services software from NOVELLE. The power to change.

NYC Teaching Fellows: You remember your first grade teachers name. Who will remember yours? Become a NYC Teaching Fellow. Apply now at www.nycteachingfellow.org.

Some people are always thinking. Obsessed with finding better answers and solutions. For them, there's office.com. The new Internet workplace with the tools and resources business people need most. Waiter: "Need anything else?" Female customer: "Relish, I need relish!" Office.com. The new way to work. A service from Windstar.

Cell phone companies will do anything to get you to sign a contract. Introducing Omnipoint. A 100% digital wireless phone system that features a built-in pager and answering machine, even fax and e-mail capabilities. To find out where you can get a phone designed for the Omnipoint system, call 1-888-Buy-Omni. With a system that does so much more then cellular, there’s one feature we don’t need to offer ... a contract. Omnipoint. 100% digital -- 0% hassle. Call 1-888-Buy-Omni for a retail location.

One Jackson Square. The bohemian. The purist. The modernist. The spirit of Greenwich Village is alive and well. 35 provocative loft condominium residences overlooking Jackson Square Park. Envisioned by William Pederson of the internationally renowned Kohn Pederson Fox. Realized by Hines and RFR. By appointment. Sales and Design Center: 93 Greenwich Avenue New York, NY. 212-366-1110. onejacksonsquare.com

Call for help without saying a word. Automatic Crash Notification inside Onstar equipped Chevy Vehicles will instantly alert an Onstar advisor if you're in an accident to make sure you get the assistance you need. When every second counts, Onstar speaks up for you. Learn more at OnStar.com.

Learning is key to enhancing your intelligence and competitive advantage. And with Distance Learning & Online Education options, The Oxford Advanced Management Program is for learners who want to inherit the future. Learn more at exceed.oxford.edu.

Businesses come in all shapes and sizes. Fortunately, so do our Health Plans. Oxford has developed a wide range of solutions that are both affordable and flexible. These new products continue to offer access to top physicians and top hospitals, as well as to innovative programs and benefits. Call your broker to find out how these new plans can meet your company’s needs, or call Oxford directly at 1-888-201-4237.

Live, Learn and Thrive. P&G is committed to improving life, now and for generations to come. One way we do this is through our global cause - P&G Live, Learn and Thrive - which benefits children in need around the world. Through our cause, we are reaching more than 50 million children every year with programs that help them: Get off to a healthy start (Live). Receive access to education (Learn). Build the skills they need to succeed (Thrive).

They say retirement means the end of your working years. We say plan well -- so you can redefine retirement any time and any way you want. For many, it will be a bridge to a second career. A new business. Or a true labor of love. At PaineWebber, we know that different ways of thinking about retirement also mean different ways of helping you plan for it. A PaineWebber Investment Executive can help you find your own path through the multitude of investment choices that are out there today. When you know that retirement could lead you to the best job description of all -- doing what you’ve always wanted to do -- You’ll say ... Thank you PaineWebber.

They say making sure your will specifies who gets what is the important thing. We say making sure they get to keep it is even more important. The largest tax bill many surviving spouses and single parents owe is after they die...when an estate can be taxed for up to 55% of its value. That’s why we offer investors the specialized services of Wealth Preservation Planning. And why we’re the only investment firm that has created a national network of estate tax planning attorneys. When you know the wealth you worked a lifetime for is going where you want it to go--not to Uncle Sam-- you’ll say...Thank you PaineWebber.

Times have changed. So have batteries. Presenting batteries for the digital age. If you don’t have them, you’re still in the dark.

Just add kisses. The perfect card. The perfect kiss. Expressions of love only at Papyrus.

At some banks, overdrawing your business checking account can mean more than just an overdraft charge. Your other banks may be debited to pay for the overdraft, denying you use of your hard-earned funds. With People’s Business Plus Checking and a Business Credit Line, you get true overdraft coverage. With a completely separate credit line that’s linked to your checking account. Any overdraft automatically activates your credit line, and subsequent checking account deposits are credited to your account -- instead of being used to pay your credit line.

Make every employee a CFO. Peoplesoft Financial Management Solutions make every employee financially accountable. Every employee has visibility into their own financial world with the global enterprise. With embedded cost controls, online procurement, and real-time alerts, every employee is empowered to make the right decisions. And your CFO can achieve the results he is counting on. Learn more by visiting us at www.peoplesoft.com/financials or call 1-888-773-8277.

We have a history of caring. We mend broken hearts. We bring joy back to life. We give people words to live by. We help keep families strong. We take care of our best friends. We care for the heart of the family. We help people love one another. We’ll care for your great-great-grandchildren. Pfizer. Life is our life’s work.

Pfizer Inc discovers, develops, manufactures, and markets leading prescription medicines for humans and animals and many of the world's best-known consumer brands. Our innovative, value-added products improve the quality of life of people around the world and help them enjoy longer, healthier, and more productive lives. The company has three business segments: health care, animal health and consumer health care. Our products are available in more than 150 countries.

Since 1849, the Pfizer name has been synonymous with the trust and reliability inherent in the word Quality. Quality is ingrained in the work of our colleagues and all our Values. We are dedicated to the delivery of quality healthcare around the world. Our business practices and processes are designed to achieve quality results that exceed the expectations of patients, customers, colleagues, investors, business partners and regulators. We have a relentless passion for Quality in everything we do.

Janet wants to make it stick. The "Under 18, No Tobacco. We Card" sign, that is. As a major sponsor of the "We Card" program, Philip Morris USA sales managers like Janet Rodriguez help provide retailers with the tools and training they need to spot fake IDs and uphold the law. "We Card" is part of Philip Morris USA's comprehensive effort to help prevent youth smoking. To learn more, visit philipmorrisusa.com/ysp. Working to make a difference. The people of Philip Morris Companies.

Far below the surface of the Gulf of Mexico, one of the first treasures of its kind can be found. It’s an artificial reef, created from a former Phillips Petroleum production platform. Although we left this underwater paradise years ago, we took with us an unforgettable picture of life that will remain deep within us all. To us, that’s what it means to be the performance company. PHILLIPS PETROLEUM.

Some people just can’t live without their subwoofers. Especially when they’re equipped with our exclusive Voice Coil Cooling System technology. It lets our VCCS Subs handle up to 800 watts of power while producing clear, accurate and most importantly, loud bass. It’s the kind of sound you can’t do without. Under any circumstances. PIONEER. Everything else comes second.

In so many ways, in so many places it keeps a million disasters a day from happening. It's like a life insurance policy you never knew you had. It's plastics. Plastics make it possible.

I wasn’t born knowing how to borrow money. I mean, I wasn’t born knowing how to crawl much less knowing the difference between fixed and adjustable rates. So I’ve grown. I’ve learned. And now I’ve borrowed money. And maybe, somewhere along the way, someone helped me think about it in ways I never had before. Someone, like PNC Bank.

Premiere Magazine talks about movie premieres before they even happen. But Premiere isn’t just about being the first to let you in on new movies. It is, in fact, a quality, exciting, jam-packed, full magazine for movie lovers. Read about the making of movies, shot by shot. Catch the rising stars, and stars-to-be. And see what hot new movies are in the works. Plus much more. And that all adds up to a magazine that’s first in class. Read PREMIERE MAGAZINE first. Then, go to the movies.

Progressive wishes they could insure you against everything. From bikini mishaps to bad sunburns. But for now, they can just offer really simple car insurance. When you need some, think progressive. And visit teens.progressive.com. Progressive. Car insurance, simple.

Every year James Ward buys his mom the same birthday cake. But this year, James switched to progressive auto insurance. And if they can shake things up by letting you compare competitors rates and over 20 other facts and figures-then maybe he too should swing for the fences. Nice work James. Think easier. Think Progressive.

Now is your chance to take advantage of big savings on quality term life insurance for 10, 15,20, or even 30 years. With affordable rates like these, you could save up to 70% on coverage from Protective Life Insurance Company, a respected insurer with a 90-year tradition of security and stability. Why pay more for the quality life insurance you need to protect your family? Call Matrix Direct at 1-800-314-7559 now! Call now for your FREE, no obligation, life insurance quote. Expert advice. Convenient service. Affordable rates...all by phone! Call Toll-Free 1-800-314-7559

How can you help ensure your retirement investments are right for you? Speak with Prudential for smart retirement solutions. Call 1-800-The ROCK.