The Voice Over Practice Script Library

Any noise annoys an oyster,
but an noisy noise annoys an oyster most.

Barren Beacon Beckons Bacon Baron

A big black bug bit a big black bear
and the big black bear bled blood.
This black bug bled blue-black blood
while the other black bug bled blue.

Better Botter bought some butter
But she said this butter's bitter
If I put it in my batter
It will make my batter bitter
So she bought some better butter
Put it in her bitter batter
And it made her bitter batter better

Good Blood, Bad Blood, Good Blood, Bad Blood, etc.
Red Blood, Blue Blood, Red Blood, Blue Blood, etc.

A box of biscuits
a batch of mixed biscuits
and a biscuit mixer

Eleven benevolent elephants.
Eleven malevolent elephants.
Eleven ambivalent elephants.
Eleven irrelevant elephants.

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

English Pronunciation by G. Nolst Trenité

The foreign authorities put Dorothy in an orange forest.

• Welcome to Cross-Paths, you can grab your gear now.
• Look out!... You may get lost if you go inside.
• You are about to unlock the ghosts from your past... Are you sure you're ready?
• Either select 'joystick' or 'lever.'
• Ha ha ha... and you thought you were done...
• Hmmmm.... your opponent seems to be of your magnitude!
• Record your score here.

Give me the gift of a grip top sock,
A dip-drape, ship-shape, tip-top sock,
Not your spiv-slick, slap-stick, slip-slop stock,
But a plastic elastic grip-top sock.
None of your fantastic slack swap-slop
From a slapdash, flash cash, haberdash shop.
Not a knick-knack, knit-lock, knock-kneed knickerbocker sock
With a mock-shot, blob-mottled trick tick-tocker clock.
Not a rucked-up, puckered up flop-top sock,
Not a super-sheer, seersucker pukka sack-smock sock.
Not a spot speckled, frog-freckled cheap sheik's sock
Off a hotch-potch, moss-blotched botched Scotch block.

Nothing slip-slop, drip-drop, flip-flop or clip-clop.
Tip me a tip-top grip-top sock.

Benny Bunny lived with mummy bunny and daddy bunny in sunny muddy gulley. Across the gulley lived Penny bunny who when Benny bunny saw her, he began to feel all funny.

Penny bunny had a ton of honey and Benny bunny liked Penny bunny's honey. But Penny bunny liked money and refused to be Benny bunny's buddy.

"You can't have MY honey," she told Benny bunny. "Because you have no honey money."

"But wait!" Exclaimed Benny bunny. "I am a funny bunny and one day I will have lots of honey money as funny Benny bunny!"

"Look at Snazzy bunny!" She replied. "He makes tons of honey money as Jazzy bunny. All the girls give him tons of bunny honey. He has so many honey bunnies, it's not funny!"

"I will show you how I can be a tunny funny bunny for honey money!" He told Penny bunny. Then Benny bunny told Penny bunny a funny.

"What is small, black and very dangerous?"

Penny bunny thought about this a tunny and said, "I don't know." She thought Benny bunny was kinda nutty.

"A fly with a machine gun!" Responded Benny bunny.

Penny bunny didn't think that this was funny and Benny was a dumb and boring bunny!

Benny bunny felt kinda sully and went home to sunny muddy gulley. He told mummy bunny the whole skinny on Penny bunny. Benny bunny asked mummy bunny why girl bunnies were born with honey but boy bunnies had to earn honey money for bunny honey.

"You'll always need honey money!" Said mummy bunny. "Even daddy bunny needed honey money for this lovely bunny!"

"But one day I will make tons of honey money being a funny bunny!" He said. "Why won't Penny bunny give me some of her honey, mummy?"

He then told mummy bunny the funny that he told Penny bunny to prove that he could make honey money. Mummy bunny didn't laugh but said instead, "I love you."

So little Benny bunny forgot all about Penny bunny's honey and stayed with mummy and daddy bunny to share all of their honey money in sunny muddy gulley.

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this? What a shame, sir!
We'll find you another game, sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to ram your rom.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

from the Unix fortune database, attributed to DementDJ@ccip.perkin-elmer.com in the rec.humor.funny newsgroup

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!
You can't say this? What a shame, sir!
We'll find you another game, sir.
If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!
When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to ram your rom.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager
imagining managing an imaginary menagerie.

Knapsack straps

I carried the married character over the barrier.

Yes, she is pure, but so is Mrs. Muir. You're just unsure.
Please do not lure me with your unsure cure.

Mrs. Smith's Fish Sauce Shop

My dame hath a lame tame crane.
My dame hath a crane that is lame.
Oh gentle Jane, doth my dame's lame tame crane
leave and come home again?

One hen
Two ducks
Three squawking geese
Four Limerick oysters
Five corpulent porpoises
Six pairs of Don Alverzo's tweezers
Seven thousand Macedonians in full battle array
Eight brass monkeys from the ancient, sacred crypts of Egypt
Nine apathetic, sympathetic, diabetic, old men on roller skates with a marked propensity towards procrastination and sloth
Ten lyrical, spherical, diabolical denizens of the deep who haul stall around the corner of the quo of the quay of the quivery, all at the same time.

Pinky & The Brain tour the Kicky Sack Factory

O = Factory owner.
P = Pinky
B = Brain
S = Sheet slitter’s son

O - I am honored by your visit. Let me show you our assembly line.

O - First, sheets of sheer synthetic sheep skin are slit into several kicky sack shoe shapes and shapely shoe sizes by 6 sitting sheet slitters.
B - I only see 5 sitting sheet slitters.
O - The 6th sitting sheet slitter is sick. His son Sammy is subbing until the sick 6th sitting sheet slitter's back sitting pretty.
P - You're not the sheet slitter?
S - No, i'm the sheet slitter's son.
P - Well you keep on slitting sheets until the sheet slitter comes!

O - The shoe shaper then shapes the slit synthetic sheep skin sheets and shoots out shoes through the chute. This is Mr. Plunket, the new khaki sock plucker. I had to fire our previous sock plucker. He had a bit of an attitude.
B - So you sacked the cocky khaki kicky sack sock plucker?
O - The 2nd cocky khaki kicky sack sock plucker I sacked since the sixth sitting sheet slitter got sick.

(bwoooooooo…)

O - Whoops, don't worry, just an electrical problem. One of the Kicky Sack sack pickers will have to flick the plug.
P - Not the khaki sock plucker?
O - Oh my no. The Kicky Sack sack pickers flick the plug. The khaki sock plucker can’t reach the socket over the latex child perambulator fenders we use to line the tread mill.
B - It might make more sense to have the sixth sick sitting sheet slitter's son flick the plug if the sack pickers and the sock pluckers are behind the rubber baby buggy bumpers.

*CLICK* (whirrrr)

O - I never thought of that.

LATER THAT NIGHT

B – Now Pinky. Here is the plan: Remember: Every step must be performed with precision. You must slit the sick sixth sheet slitter's son's sheet, secure it next to the toy boat from the hack and sack socko Kicky Sack sack kicker's picnic in Secaucus. stretch it past the sack pickers station and the sock plucker's chute, and pick a sack, pluck a sock, and flick the plug, so I can put the pea in the plucked sock with the picked sack for ballast, and bounce it off the rubber baby buggy bumpers, into the Parker Packard purple pewter pressure pump. Is that understood?

Red lorry, yellow lorry/ Red leather, yellow leather

Rosco the rum runner rubbed out Rudy the rat
for ruining his rum running receipts.

Round the rugged rocks the ragged rascals ran

Should saucy sharks seek shelter soon?

She sits and shines shoes
And when she sits she shines all day

She stood upon the balcony, inimically mimicking him
hiccupping while amicicably welcoming him in.

Sister Suzy's sewing shirts for soldiers
Such skill at sewing shirts

The sixth sick shiek's sixth sheep's sick.

A skunk sat on a stump.
The skunk thought the stump stunk.
The stump thought the skunk stunk.

Sister Suzy went to sea
To see the sea, you see.
The sea she saw was a saucy sea,
A sort of saucy sea saw she.

The leath police dissmissith us, and that sufficeth us.

Hi.
I'm the pheasant plucker.
I pluck mother pheasants.
I'm a pleasant mother pheasant plucker.
I'm the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker to ever pluck a mother pheasant.

Something in a thirty-acre thermal thicket of thorns and thistles thumped and thundered threatening the three-D thoughts of Matthew the thug. Although theatrically, it was only the thirteen-thousand thistles and thorns through the underneath of his thigh that the thirty-year-old thug thought of that morning.

Thistle sticks sixty six thousand and six thistle sticks
Theophulous Thistle, the thistle sifter
thrust a thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb.

Three free throws

To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark, dock, In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock, Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp, shock, From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block! To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark, dock, In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock, Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp, shock, From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block! A dull, dark, dock, a life-long lock, A short, sharp, shock, a big black block! To sit in solemn silence in a pestilential prison, And awaiting the sensation from a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!!

Toy Boat

When tweedle beetles battle
With paddles in a puddle
They call it a tweedle beetle puddle paddle battle.

Unique New York

"I don't care a whit for your wit or whims,"
said Warren Wharton.

What a to-do to die today, at a minute or two to two;
A thing distinctly hard to say, but harder still to do.
For they'll beat a tattoo, at twenty to two
A rat-tat-tat- tat-tat-tat- tat-tat-tattoo
And a dragon will come when he hears the drum,
At a minute or two to two today, at a minute or two to two.

Whether the weather be cold
Or whether the weather be hot
Whatever the weather we'll weather the weather
Whether we like it or not.

Which witch whined when the wine
was spilled on the wailing whale?

Which wristwatches are Swiss wristwatches?

My shy young sister Suzy shows
Some soldiers send epistles
Saying they'd sooner sleep on thistles
Than the short serge shirts for soldiers
Shy young sister Suzy sews.