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The Great Clapper Caper
(This was one of my favorite skits with Jack Webb and Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show) (If you remember Dragnet, Jack’s character had a deadpan look and sound, very serious)
Friday: This is the city. Los Angeles California.
Some people rob for pleasure.
Some rob because its there. You never know.
My names Friday, I’m a cop.
I was working the day watch, on a robbery, when I got a call from the Acme School Bell Company. There’s been a robbery.
Man: There’s been a robbery.
Friday: Yes Sir, what is it?
Man: My clappers.
Friday: Your clappers?
Man: Yea, you know those things inside a bell that makes them clang.
Friday: The clangers.
Man: That’s right, but we call them clappers in the business.
Friday: A clapper caper.
Man: What’s that?
Friday: Nothing Sir. Now can I have the facts?
What kind of clappers was stolen on this capper?
Man: They were copper clappers.
Friday: And where were they kept?
Man: In the closet.
Friday: U huh. You have any ideas, who might have taken the copper clappers from the closet?
Man: Well, once fired a man and he swore he’d get even.
Friday: What was his name?
Man: Claude Cooper.
Friday: You think he…….
Man That’s right ! That’s right! I think Claude Copper copped my copper clappers, kept in a closet.
Friday: Do you know where this Claude Cooper is from?
Man: Yea, Cleveland.
Friday: That figures that figures.
Man: What make it worse, they were clean.
Friday: Clean copper clappers?
Man: That’s right.
Friday: Why do you think Cleveland’s Claude Cooper, would cop your clean copper clappers kept in your closet?
Man: Only one reason.
Friday: And what’s that?
Man: He’s a kleptomaniac.
Friday: Who first discovered that the copper clappers were copped?
Man: My cleaning woman, Clara Clifford.
Friday: That figures, now let me see if I have the facts straight here.
Cleaning woman Clara Clifford discovered your clean copper clappers, kept in a closet, were copped by Claude Cooper the kleptomaniac from Cleveland. Now is that about it?
Man: One other thing.
Friday: What’s that?
Man: If ever I catch kleptomaniac Claude Cooper from Cleveland, who copped my clean copper clappers that were kept in a closet.
Man: I’ll clobber him.