ENGLISH SCRIPTS

A-1 Steak Sauce, Allied Rentals, Amoco Certicare (2), Bartender’s Professional Training Institute, Better Made Chips, Car Cash, Cellular South, Chevy Cavolier, Citi Dividend Platinum Select Card for College Students, Compaq Computers, Curve for Men, Cybertipline.com, Ethan Allen, Hechinger Mall, J. Gold Attorneys, Kellogg’s Crispix Mix, Kinko’s, Laser Image Sculpting, Lifeguard Insurance, Liz Claiborne, L’Oreal Glam Shine, Lottery, Maybelline Clump Free Mascara, Neutrogena Wave, Newsday, Pizza Hut, PMS Escape, Princess Hotels, PSE&G, Stop & Shop, Sudafed Cold & Sinus, TCI College of Technology, Underage Drinking, Verizon Wireless

ENGLISH SCRIPTS

A-1 STEAK SAUCE

Jerry: No A-1 for my hamburger???? Miss ... some A-1 please? Imagine, a great place like this without A-1 on the table!
Man: Yeah!
Jerry: Nothing like it on hamburgers ...
Man: You bet.
Jerry: After all, what’s hamburger? It’s chopped steak! And what’s better on steak than A-1? That’s why I have it at home all the time.
Man: So why didn’t you ask for it?
Jerry: Guess outta sight, outta mind. Miss ... some A-1 please?
Man: Ask for it!

ALLIED RENTALS

Arnie: Hey Jerry ... you mind if I borrow your hammer for a couple of hours tonight?
Jerry: Uh, sure, Arnie. Go ahead.
Arnie: Jerry, how was your weekend?
Jerry: It was fine. How was yours?
Arnie: Great, great. Say Jerry, we have a guest coming in tonight. Mind if I borrow that roll-away bed you’ve got?
Jerry: Borrow the bed? Well, I suppose, but only if you bring it back in the ...
Arnie: Jerry, I never heard a stereo with sound as good as yours. Would you mind if I borrowed it to show my cousin?
Jerry: The stereo, oh I don’t know ...
Arnie: It’s only for one night. I promise to bring it back tomorrow.

AMOCO CERTICARE SERVICE WHILE YOU SLEEP 1

Anncr: Amoco knows how busy you are ...
Wmn: I ... am the busiest person in the world.
Anncr: We know there’s never enough time in your day.
Wmn: I make instant oatmeal in the microwave ...
Anncr: We know it’s not always convenient to get your car repaired.
Wmn: I have mastered the art of being in 2 places at the same time ...
Anncr: So, Certicare will now fix your car at night -- while you’re asleep.
Wmn: My last vacation was a nap.
Anncr: New, “Service While You Sleep.” Just call 1-800-4-REPAIR. That’s 1-800-4-REPAIR. Certicare’s “Service While You Sleep.” Only at participating Amoco dealers.

AMOCO CERTICARE “SERVICE WHILE YOU SLEEP 2

Interviewer: So. I understand you’re pretty busy.
Wmn: Really busy. Will this take long?
Int: No. It’s just a sixty second commercial.
Wmn: Good. Because, I’m --
Int: Busy. I know. Well, is there any time you’re not busy?
Wmn: Well, there’s always while I sleep.
Int: Well Certicare just introduced a program called “Service While You
Sleep.”
Wmn: Why do they call it that?
Int: Because they service your car while you sleep.
Wmn: Catchy name.
Int: Glad you like it.. Just call 4-REPAIR. Certicare does the rest.
Wmn: 4-REPAIR. Got it. Will the call take long?
Int: No. Why?
Wmn: Because I’m ...
Int: Really busy.
Wmn: Got it.

BARTENDERS PROFESSIONAL TRAINING INSTITUTE

(edgy rock music. A and B are same voice, one is a little more “echoed” than the other)
A: Who said work can’t be fun?
B: Train now at the Bartenders Professional Training Institute in Rochester.
A: And you could be bartending in just four short weeks.
B: The work’s fun.
A: The pay’s great.
B: And you meet some fabulous people.
A: Professional Bartending Schools of America.
B: Go to PBSA.com for details.
A: That’s PBSA.com

BETTER MADE CHIPS

Girl: Hey Dad, have you seen my bag of Barbeque Better Made Chips?
Dad: No
Girl: Hmm, I left them right here on the counter
Dad: Nope I haven’t seen anything
Girl: Hey, what’s this on your shirt? These are crumbs! Chip crumbs! You ate my
Better Made Chips!!!
Dad: Nuh-uh.

CITI DIVIDEND PLATINUM SELECT CARD FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS

Daughter: Mom, could we talk about getting me a credit card?
Mom: No way. Too many college students get themselves in debt that way.
Daughter: Yeah, but I’m talking about the Citi Dividend Platinum Select Card just for
Students. It’ll give me up to 5% cash back on purchases, so its like I’m actually earning money! Plus they’re giving me 0% APR for the first 6 months.

CAR CASH

Man: OK! You’re ready to sell your car. Right?
Woman: Right.
Man: Nothing’s wrong with it. You’re just ready for a change. You want the highest cash price.
Woman: Absolutely.
Man: But you’ve worked hard all day. Taken about forty phone calls. Worked with some pretty tough customers.
Woman: Ah. You’ve said it.
Man: The last thing you need is more hassle, right?
Woman: Right!
Man: So talk to Car Cash. Since 1977, Car Cash has been Americas biggest and most experienced car buying service. Don’t sell your car for less than truevalue. Or, spend hours with strangers who have no cash. Thousands of satisfied owners have sold their cars to Car Cash.
Woman: Perfect.
Man: So just call 1-800-Car Cash.
Woman: Hmmm...Car Cash...It’s the only way to go.

CELLULAR SOUTH

SFX: Telephone ring, entire conversation takes place over the phone.
Mother: Hello?
Son: Hey, Mom.
Mother: Oh, hi sweetie.
Son: I’m at the police station -
Mother: What?! What happened?
Son: Nothing really.
Mother: You’re at the police station.
Son: Okay, well, it all started at the tattoo parlor...
Mother: Tattoo parlor?
Son: It’s no big deal. We all got one. Even Krystal.
Mother: Who’s Krystal?
Son: She’s a dancer at the club.
Mother: Club? But you’re 15 years old.
Son: It’s okay. Krystal’s 22 and she’s totally cool.
Mother: I thought you were going to a movie.
Son: We were but plans changed. I would’ve called but you wouldn’t let me have a cell phone.
Mother: Oh dear…
Annc: Well, that’s one way to convince your parents to get you a cell phone. You could also try being rational with them. Y’know, point out how Cellular South lets you talk all month for a flat-rate of $39.99. And gives your parents the peace of mind that moms and dads tend to want.
Son: Hey, mom? How old do you have to be to get married?
Annc: Sign up now and text all you want for a flat rate of just $5 a month. Move to the Cellular South. Stop by the store nearest you, visit cellularsouth.com, or call 877-CSOUTH1. Certain restrictions may apply.

COMPAQ COMPUTERS

User: I think I’m starting to fall in love with my computer. Watch this. Here’s the mouse. Click on file ... into the word processing software, and...
Computer: Hello again, Compaq Computer user. I’m your disc operating system.
Just call me Dossy!
User: Oh, Dossy. The way you change your fonts and copy your files... it’s enough to make a man batty!
Computer: Do I see a sub-directory in our future?
Anncr: A Compaq Computer is so intelligent, and so attractive, you just may fall in love with it. Compaq Computers. More than you ever bargained for.

CURVE FOR MEN

Male Announcer: Watch how Curve for Men makes finding a Saturday night date easier than ever. Just two sprays and…..
Girl: Oh, hey Brian. I was just wondering, what are you doing this Saturday?
Male Announcer: Mission Accomplished.

CYBERTIPLINE.COM

Man: Seducing teen girls online is easy. They love talking to someone
Girl: Someone older I can trust. They understand me better than other teens
Man: Teen girls are very trusting. You can wear down the suspicions they
Girl: They have an understanding of real love. They know nothing matters when you're totally in love
Man: Love is the final piece of the puzzle. They believe anything I tell them because I
Girl: I don't see why you shouldn't meet someone you trust. I mean there's no danger in meeting
Man: Meeting them is always the goal. That's when things get really interesting.
Girl Announcer: Online predators know what they're doing. Do you?
Announcer: Visit cybertipline.com. A message from The National Centre for Missing and Exploited Children and the AdCouncil

ETHAN ALLEN

Man: Honey?
Woman: Yea?
Man: If you could have just one thing on a desert island, what would it be?
Woman: You!
Man: You’ve already got me, what else?
Woman: A sale.
Man: What good is a sail without a boat?
Woman: Not that kind of a sale. The Ethan Allen essential sale.
Man: Come on.
Woman: I’m serious. You see, that way all the essentials will be covered.
From sofas to dining sets to entertainment units to home accessories. We’d have everything we’d ever need.
Man: Well you know what they say?
Woman: What?
Man: All you need is loooove.
Woman: Did I mention the bedroom stuff?
Man: Hmmm, now you’re talking. Just the two of us. In our island paradise, lounging on beautiful Ethan Allen furniture. When do we leave?
Woman: Right now. The sale’s about to end.
Man: What happened to the island?
Woman: Well, I figure with the right furniture, we’ll make our own little paradise right here. Now we have to hurry. The essential sale’s almost over.
Anncr: Come in and discover the many items on sale at the Ethan Allen store nearest you, in New Jersey and New York. Hurry in. The sale ends April 6th.

HECHINGER MALL

Janet: Macy’s, Gap, Casual Corner, Sears -- I can hardly believe all the ...
Husband: Slow down ... wait a minute. Something’s got you all excited.
Janet: Every store at Hechinger Mall is running a July 4th sale all week long!
Husband: Every store ... all week long?
Janet: Yes! Monday we can go to Sears and buy the comforter we’ve wanted.
Tuesday we can go to Gap and buy you a new suit and tie. Wednesday we can go to Casual Corner and ...
Husband: And cancel our dinner plans on Thursday and Friday? My tennis game on Tuesday? Dinner with the boss on Monday?
Janet: Bring the boss along! Bring them all along! In fact, who would want to miss a Hechinger Mall’s July 4th All-Week All-Store Sale?
Husband: Uh, Janet?
Janet: Yes, dear?
Husband: Call your lawyer.
Janet: Kaplan and Koppelman ... they’re in Hechinger Mall too ... but of course I’ll have to wait ‘til Monday! Remember the sale.

J. GOLD ATTORNEYS

Wife: I’ll take the microwave.
Husband: I’ll take the television.
Wife: I’ll take the table.
Husband: I’ll take the bed.
Wife: I’ll take the kids!
Husband: The kids? What do you mean you’ll take the kids?
Wife: And the dog.
Husband: I’ll take the dog.
Wife: And I’ll take the house.
Husband: The silver.
Wife: The gold.
Husband: The money.
Wife: The money?
Anncr: Do yourself a big favor ... see a good attorney and eliminate the hassles of major trauma in your life. J. Gold Attorneys want to help. Call and set up a private consultation. J. Gold Attorneys. Let us intervene. That’s our business.

KINKO’S

Man 1: Hello, Kinko’s, the Copy Center. More stores than you think. How may we help?
Man 2: Do you copy shirts?
Man 1: What do you mean “Do you copy shirts?”
Man 2: See, I started this new job ...
Man 1: Yeah ...?
Man 2: And they want me to wear white shirts every day.
Man 1: I’m with you so far.
Man 2: I thought since you guys copy anything, I could bring in one white shirt – my only white shirt -- and I could walk out of Kinko’s with say, 100 clean shirt-copies.
Man 1: Look. Kinko’s is very big on savings, and very big on copies, but
Man 2: Great! I’ll be right down to one of your many convenient locations, and
Man 1: Hold it! Stop the copiers, fella, this is ridiculous. We can’t copy your shirt or you. I mean, we could, but of course you’d only get shirt fronts, and of course the copies would be on paper.

LASER IMAGE SCULPTING

Eyes: Yo! It’s your eyes talking. Looked in the mirror lately? Of course you have. Hey, face, you trying to imitate a prune? Too many trips to Cancun, huh? Well, maybe it’s time to improve your image.
Anncr: At Laser Image Sculpting, we not only offer the latest cosmetic laser technology, we offer extremely bright, highly experienced doctors. After all, the laser is a miracle, in the right hands.
Eyes: Hands? Yeah --- we see liver spots. Always hated liver.
Anncr: Laser Sculpting can also vaporize birthmarks and skin discolorations.
Eyes: Speaking of discolorations -- Brain, what were you thinking with the tattoo?
Anncr: Spider veins gone in a flash.
Eyes: Spider veins? Eek, makes our skin crawl.
Anncr: Acne scars smoothed in seconds.
Eyes: Scars? Like when your brother tripped you. We gonna have to look at that scar forever or what?
Anncr: You’d be amazed how fast and easy today’s cosmetic solutions can be – when performed by the best laser doctors. Call toll free, 1-800-2-IMAGE.
Eyes: Hey Brain, free! 1-800-2-IMAGE.
Anncr: LASER IMAGE SCULPTING. Our doctors make our lasers smarter.

LIFEGUARD INSURANCE

Harry: Oh, Janet, what do you say we go skiing this weekend?
Janet: Harry, I’m afraid to go skiing.
Harry: Janet, then how about something really different, like hot air ballooning?
Janet: Harry, I’m afraid of heights.
Harry: Well then, Janet, let’s check out that new Indian restaurant down the street?
Janet: Harry, I’m afraid of spicy foods.
Harry: Janet, what do you say we get some health insurance?
Janet: Harry, that’s a great idea.
Harry: With Lifeguard Insurance, I know you’ll be ready to tackle anything. So Janet, after we get our Lifeguard Insurance policy, let’s go deep sea skin-diving.
Janet: Harry, how about a nice movie?

LIZ CLAIBORNE FRAGRANCES

Anncr: Once upon a time, there were three sisters who couldn’t agree on anything.
1 Sis: Let’s go out for pizza.
2 Sis: I’d rather have sushi.
3 Sis: And what’s wrong with a salad?
Anncr: Whatever the topic was, they each had their own favorite.
1 Sis: Let’s see a drama.
2 Sis: I’d rather see a comedy.
3 Sis: And what’s wrong with a musical?
Anncr: And when it came to Liz Claiborne fragrances, things were obviously no different.
1 Sis: I like Vivid.
2 Sis: I prefer Realities.
3 Sis: And what’s wrong with Liz Claiborne?
Anncr: So we decided to run a special promotion at Macy’s, and give a free gift with the purchase of any fragrance. But, they’re only available while supplies last. favorite gift? Incidentally, would you believe those three sisters couldn’t even agree on their favorite gift?
1 Sis: I love the free tote bag.
2 Sis: I prefer the pocket mirror.
3 Sis: And what’s wrong with the lipstick liner?

L'OREAL GLAM SHINE

(sexy R&B-type disco music)
Girl: Transform your lips with mirror shine.
Announcer: New Glam Shine from L'Oreal Paris. It's unique. The new heart-shaped wand bursts with moisturizing gloss. It smoothes and sweeps on liquid crystal shine. Glamorous, moisturized, mirror-shine. Indulge in the new Crystals Collection. New glam shine from L'Oreal with a unique heart-shaped wand.
Girl: Ready to make the world shine? Because you're worth it.

LOTTERY

1st person: Hey Russell, how’s the fishin’?
2nd Person: Well, yesterday I caught a ten foot shark. Yep, and inside I found a pair of pants.
1st person: My goodness.
2nd person: Yep, and inside them pants was a wallet.
1st. Person: Wait a minute.
2nd person: Inside that wallet was a winning cash five ticket.
1st. Person: For one hundred grand?
2nd person: Yup...one lump sum.
1st. Person: That’s some day of fishin’!
2nd person I’ll say. I needed a new wallet.
Announcer: Now that the Connecticut Lottery has cash drawings every night, winning a hundred grand is starting to feel...well...everyday.
2nd person: Cash five,
1st & 2nd: Another day...another hundred thousand dollars.

MAYBELLINE CLUMP FREE MASCARA

(sexy lounge music, a little bit of dance mixed with jazz)
Announcer: Clump mascara?
Sexy whisper girl: So what.
Announcer: Now there's New Define-A-Lash from Maybelline New York. Our first clump-free that's longer, sexier, defined like never before.
Sexy whisper girl: Tell me more.
Announcer: Only our flexible brush is shaped to the lash. Only our formula guarantees zero clumps.
Sexy whisper girl: Define-a-lash.
Announcer: Now every lash is separated, elongated.
Sexy whisper girl: Perfectly defined.
Announcer: New Define-A-Lash. The clump-free look that's sexier. More refined.
Sexy whisper girl: Maybe she's born with it.
(Jingle: "Maybe it's Maybelline")

NEWSDAY ADVERTISING

Man: Honey? What’s all our stuff doing in the driveway?
Women: It’s a Newsday spring cleanup sale. For only $19.95 we can put a two-line classified ad in Newsday for seven days. And with over two million readers...we’ll get results fast.
Man: Two lines, all additions, for only $19.95? That’s more than 50% savings off their regular rate. But if Newsday is having a clean-up sale, why does our driveway look like a flea market?
Women: Because there’s never been a better time for us to turn the things we don’t use into cash we can use.
Man: You mean appliances, jewelry, furniture, exercise equipment?
Women: Even your old guitar.
Man: Two lines, all additions, for only $19.95...are you sure?
Women: Of course I’m sure. I called Rudy.
Man: Who’s Rudy?
Women: He’s a classified Newsday sales consultant. He was really nice, and helpful.
Man: More than 50% off, and friendly service? Newsday really does have all we need.
Women: Cleanup with Newsday. Call us at 516-843-3000. That’s 516-843-3000.

NUETROGENA WAVE

Announcer: Wave hello to the new Neutrogena Wave. (buzzing sound of the device is heard) The vibrating cleanser that's going to shake up the way you wash your face.
Girl: I've used a lot of cleansers but I never tried anything like the wave!
Announcer: Just attach a pad, add some water, and turn it on. Gentle vibrations help open pores, so cool foam can clean 10 times deeper than traditional cleansing.
Girl: My skin looks softer right away. Even my friends noticed!
Announcer: Wave Hello to the new Neutrogena Wave Power Cleanser. Another buzzworthy example of why Neutrogena is recommended most by dermatologists.

PIZZA HUT

Delivery: Pizza Hut delivery.
Wmn: Did you bring the bat and ball set?
Delivery: Yep.
Man: Great ... let’s choose up sides.
Anncr: Now that Pizza Hut delivers colorful soft foam autograph bat and ball sets, everyone’s getting into the game.
Wmn: I’ll take Sam, the elevator guy.
Man: I’ll take Ollie from the mailroom.
Wmn: Mrs. Byrne from office services.
Anncr: They feature some of your favorite Major League players, like Ken Griffey Jr., Randy Johnson, Mike Piazza, and Greg Maddux.
Man: I’ll take Gus, you know, that guy who moves furniture.
Wmn: Hey, wait a second. He doesn’t work here.
Man: He does today.
Wmn: Fine. Then I get Emma Glinsmann from bookkeeping.
Man: The, uh, All-County Women’s Baseball MVP for three years running?
Wmn: (Sarcastic) Terrific.
Anncr: They’re so much fun, they’ll have you runnin’ the bases in no time. Get ‘em delivered or in store for $5.99 with any pizza purchase.
Wmn: Shhh, the boss is coming.
Boss: (Authoritative) Excuse me people, but what are you doing?
Man: (Nervously) Uh, we’re, uh, choosin’ up sides for a, uh, friendly game of office, uh, baseball, sir.
Boss: Not on my time, you’re not.
Man: You can play on my team, sir ...
Boss: Play ball!
Wmn: (Under her breath) Brown noser.
Anncr: PIZZA HUT. You’ll love the stuff we’re made of.
Boss: Wow, these bats sure pack a wallop.
Wmn: It’s all in your swing, sir.
Man: Brown noser.

PMS ESCAPE

Husband: Hi, honey. Picked up the dry cleaning.
Wife: Thanks.
Hus: And, I picked these up for you at the jewelers.
Wife: (Surprised, catches her breath) Oh! Sapphires.
Hus: Yea. Oh, and I stopped by your mother’s to bring her some flowers. Just before I did the grocery shopping. I got –
Wife: (Excitedly, finishing his sentence) -- ice cream?
Hus: (Proudly) Vanilla.
Wife: (Boiling over) You know I like chocolate chocolate chunk!
Hus: You no-good...selfish...insensitive...
Female Ancr: (in understanding tone) There’s an all too common opinion about
PMS. Simply, it’s an excuse for women to over-react. (SFX: Crash) Trust instead the opinions of those who know all too well the reality of PMS -- but manage it with PMS Escape. Cycle after cycle, thousands of women rely on PMS Escape – a clinically tested, fat-free dietary supplement formulated to manage the mood and appetite disturbances of PMS.
Hus: (Hopeful) Hey honey...I was thinking you and me getting away...maybe visiting the family...
Wife: Probably your family...right? We never visit my family.
Female Ancr: So, you can manage to be around everyone else. PMS ESCAPE. Freedom from the emotional and appetite disturbances of PMS. Available at most leading pharmacies. Or call, 1-800-PMS-6369.

PSE&G Man: After a mild winter, experts are predicting a long hot summer.
Women: Expect the heat and humidity to increase in the coming week.
Man: A weather pattern like this means hot times ahead for much of the region.
Women: Is your central air conditioner ready to take the heat this summer?
Anncr: Don’t sweat it Call PSE&G about a worry free service contract Our service technicians are trained on all major brand central air conditioners. They’ll service, repair and replace all parts whether they’re three or thirty years old. Why worry about costly, unexpected repairs? Why pick a stranger from the phone book, or wait all day for a repair man to show up. With over 600 PSE&G service technicians ready to serve you, keeping you cool this summer will be no sweat. Call 1-800-350-PSEG about a worry free service contract. That’s 1-800-350-PSEG. PSE&G, the power of commitment.

STOP & SHOP

Man: Ready? We’re off!
Woman: Oh no...I forgot to pack snacks for the kids.
Man: Okay...now we’re really off!
Woman: Oh! Honey. I forgot to get flowers for Grandma. Can’t get there empty-handed.
Anncr: With almost 200 Stop & Shop locations, throughout southern New England, chances are there’s always a Stop & Shop near you. Same great store wherever you go. So don’t worry. You can always Stop & Shop. Because for the best quality and great prices, nothing beats Stop & Shop. It’s that simple.
Man: Weee’re ooooff!
Boy: Dad? You forgot Mom! (Pause) Dad? Dad?

SUDAFED COLD & SINUS

Mom: Moms aren’t supposed to get colds. Right! So, I take a cold medicine that’s supposed to make me feel better. Right! It wiped me out. I feel worse.
Anncr: Now ... cold relief with the power to make you feel better, not worse. New Sudafed Cold & Sinus. Cold relief so strong, you’d think it’d wipe you out ... But it’s Sudafed, so it’ll soothe your body and head aches ... and go all the way to relieve sinus pressure ...without any drowsy side effects.
Mom: And we need me better ... not worse.
Kids: Right! (Giggle)
Anncr: With new SUDAFED COLD & SINUS ... feel better, not worse.

TCI COLLEGE OF TECHNOLOGY

Student (Burtrue): “ At TCI, I’m getting my degree in electronics engineering – in only 18 months!”
Announcer (Kristin): TCI College of Technology has been training students for exciting new careers since…

UNDERAGE DRINKING

Mom: Careful at the party, hon. No alcohol, right?
Girl: I know mom.
Mom: Seriously, you're still growing, and it messes with your judgment.
Girl: Yeah, I know.
Mom: Trust me. You could do some things you don't really wanna do. If you're a grown woman its different, but you're not.
Girl: I know, ok? I know.
Announcer: Teenagers know everything. So talk about underage drinking before they know it all. Before they're teens. So start talking, before they start drinking.

VERIZON WIRELESS MOBILE PHONE

1st person: Okay, sales are lagging, so let’s call twenty clients today, now here’s the plan.
2nd person: OK.
1st person: You call half and I’ll call half.
2nd person: Oh. I can’t take half.
1st person: What do you mean you can’t take half?
2nd person: Oh. I can’t. You see...I bought a new digital wireless phone from one of those PCS companies, and it only works in a couple of places.
1st person: What!
2nd person: Yeah, but by the end of the summer they said I should be able to call from almost anywhere.
1st person: What about from the highway?
2nd person: Oh, that depends.
1st person: On what?
2nd person: Is it spring of ‘2003 yet?
Announcer: Don’t get stuck with a digital wireless phone that doesn’t work everywhere. Use Verizon Wireless mobile digital choice service. We go further, so your phone can too. For wireless service that you can depend on, call Verizon Wireless.
1st person: So, it looks like I’m making all twenty calls.
2nd person: Well, what do you want me to do?
1st person: Call Verizon Wireless at 1-800-255 BELL.