[waninick]

Hey gang…!

Doing a little practice these days. Since it has been a while, thought I would see how you think I am doing.

Amendment3
In states across America,
Voters decide gambling issues.
Floridians once had that power, too.
With Amendment 3, we will again.
Amendment 3 restores control of gambling to voters
Not politicians
Not gambling lobbyists
YOU
That’s why gambling lobbyists are spending millions falsely attacking Amendment 3
They don’t want voters in charge
Florida’s top newspapers agree
Put the power in the hands of the voters
By voting YES to Amendment 3

Voting Record
Election season is here.
Remember, who you vote for is secret
But whether you vote is public information
Your friends, family, and neighbors can look up your voting record
This year, whether by mail, early, or on Nov 2nd
Be sure to Make a Plan to Vote!
And after the election your voting record will be updated based on your participation on Nov 2nd
So, Vote, on or by Nov 2nd.

I know the room is in the mix a lot more than I would like, so ignore that…!

Thanks for your time.

TimG

[waninick]

Hi Sarah,

Vocalizing groupings of items is an art form in itself.
And this script has lots of lists, even some that are nested.

Teach you the cure for writer’s block
the recipe for lobster ravioli
beef wellington
How to lead a company
train your dog
pick a paint color
a perfect song
a new career

Using pitch, inflection, and pacing can make the group members more obvious.

I say all that to say that in at least one place, an element is separated from the
rest of its list. ‘Pick a paint color’ seems to be haning on its own, leaving
‘a perfect song’ with no linkage or context. Were you to transition into ‘a perfect
song’ the way you transition into ‘a new career’, the entire group comes together
under the group ‘pick’.

Full disclosure: I am not a director. But a good one would help you understand
how to use pitch and pacing and tempo to make these kinds of lists of lists
coherent and engaging at the same time. (OMT, be mindful of your P’s…!)
You have an absolutely wonderful, clear, articulate voice. And I look forward
very much to hearing more from you.

TimG

[waninick]

KF, Nice voice, mostly good clear diction. Might want to add the ‘t’ on the end of ‘want’, and the word “didn’t” didn’t quite come out clean. Other than that, it just needs to be edited a bit tighter. Too much space between “care about” and “I didn’t think so.” A couple of other places as well. But the interpretation was really good! Nice Work..!

[waninick]

Robert, a couple of thoughts:
This is a commercial for a pickup. Might want a different sound bed.
The voice is Perfect for this material, but seems quite clipped and distorted to me. Might be a bit hot on the mic.
Those two things aside, Great Read…! A little slower pace, and you won’t need so much music to make it to 30 secs. But, the voice, diction, and overall interpretation is perfect for this piece. Nice job.

[Author]

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