RIDDLE (a Parody on Sherlock Holmes)
Frank Muir & Denis Norden

….....After a moment of restless pacing he suddenly said, “I have just been given tea by Her Majesty's Foreign Secretary-”
'Earl Grey?'
'No,' he said . 'A fairly ordinary Darjeeling. Grown, I rather fancy, on that South-facing hill just above the handbag factory. He gave me very worrying news.'
Holmes paced the room again. The cat was sitting asleep on his chair an Holmes bent to tickle it behind an ear.
'Watson, my violin if you please.'
I handed it to him and with a forehand drive worthy of the great Dr. Grace himself, he batted the cat out of the chair and onto the floor. He settled himself comfortably into the chair.
' I am informed, Watson, that there is in this country an important Balkan Princeling, here under the protection of her Britannic Majesty. He has travelled from his own squalid little country to Britain in order to undergo an operation at which our British Surgeons lead the world. The removal of an ingrowing toe-nail.'
'Just so. What we medical men call a “Piggyectomy”.'
'Would you mind shutting up while I'm talking.'
I nodded assent.